


No More Regrets

by 0Melting_Angels0



Category: Open Heart (Visual Novels)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Heavy Angst, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:22:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26362606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0Melting_Angels0/pseuds/0Melting_Angels0
Summary: "If these are my last moments on Earth, then I want to spend them with you." (An exploration of how things may have gone between Ethan and MC, had they been in Rafael's place)
Relationships: Ethan Ramsey/Main Character (Open Heart), Ethan Ramsey/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 53





	1. Terror Beyond Fear

**Author's Note:**

> So Chapter 11 of Open Heart was a fucking roller-coaster of emotions. I legitimately cried through the last half of it, and I'm not exaggerating. It was well worth the long wait.
> 
> And whilst I love resident hero Rafael, and the angst content we got with Ethan/our chosen LI, I got to thinking:
> 
> What if Raf didn't get to our MC in time?   
> What if MC had the same symptoms and declined in the way Raf did? 
> 
> So this fic was born. I've never written a Choices fic before. And I'm nervous because I want to get it right. Thus, any constructive feedback is greatly appreciated. 
> 
> This chapter is for my own MC, but I'm working on adapting it to be neutral so I can add a version for y'all to picture your own MCs. 
> 
> Also thinking of doing the ultimate angst version where the cure/antidote is too late for MC. 
> 
> I've modified a couple things to give some slightly different takes on the outcome. 
> 
> Warnings in place for mentions of gross medical stuff and some swearing because fuck it.

Dr Jasper Maddoz could recall a number of times in her life when she felt scared. There were the childhood fears of monsters in the closet creeping out after dark, and fears of loneliness during school when she neglected love and friendship in favour of her studies. Neglected the joyous experiences that every regular teenager yearned to add to their metaphorical bucket list, in favour of spending hours in the quiet solace of the local library- surrounded only by her textbooks and files. Those were followed by the near paralysing fear when she believed she'd failed her first patient in her residency. That she’d lost it all before she’d even truly begun. Then there was all the times after that, when close calls brought brushes of death that cut into her worst fears as deep as a surgeon's scalpel. And that wasn’t even mentioning the case of Mrs Martinez which almost took her career- however willing Jasper had been to risk it.

Aside from all of those, there was then the fear of never being able to be with the one she loved- who she longed to touch now more than ever, and the fear of her short conversation with Kyra she'd had earlier being the last words they ever spoke to one another. That it would be the last time she saw the woman’s ever-present smile and shining, friendly eyes. The last time she heard her laugh, or flirt with almost every Doctor that entered her hospital room. That soon all she’d have of Kyra would be fond memories. Yet, somehow, the impossible had begun to transpire- something that damn near dwarfed all of those fears. 

Something that Jasper quickly realised wasn't just _fear_. 

She was positively **_terrified_**. 

It had been bad enough when she realised the truth behind Senator Farrugia's lead poisoning, heart pounding as she began sprinting through the hospital faster than she ever had before- but this was something else entirely. Standing now, across from Travis, wielding an ominous black canister, Jasper was almost paralysed in the agonising terror. Her feelings weren't just for herself, and all the things she'd left unsaid. It was also for Bobby, who she couldn't even move to help- fear that he'd never be able to buy his daughter that car for her 16th birthday. Fear that Rafael, who stood a mere few paces behind her, would never realise his dream and board that plane to Brazil. That he'd never see his vovo again, or the childhood friend he'd come to love. Then there was the shared fear for Danny- fear that his life would end too soon and leave an already fragile Sienna heartbroken. 

And then there was the possibility of whatever was in that canister getting into the air vent, and escaping to filter through the rest of the hospital. To their most vulnerable patients, elderly and children alike. To those already struggling for their lives in the ICU. 

To all her friends. 

Through to Baz and June. 

_To...to **Ethan**. _

Whatever was in the canister was definitely potent enough to cause that kind of irreparable damage- a couple sprays had already left Bobby collapsed on the floor amidst a cardiac arrest, and Danny and the Senator struggling to breathe. Even the heroically brave Rafael seemed to have faltered in the face of it, impossible as that may have seemed only moments ago. Too many people, too many possible losses. Too many families whose lives could be torn apart. 

It was all of those that made Jasper shakily raise her hands in surrender, an effort to placate a wide-eyed Travis as she directed all of her focus onto him. On the terrifying rage burning in his tear-stung eyes, his gums almost bleeding with the force of gritting his teeth together in a show of resolve. It was all of those that gave her a strength she didn't know she had, power enough to open her mouth and speak. 

"Travis…" Jasper willed her voice not to tremble in the same way as her hands. 

When the mere mention of his name caused Travis to whip round and aim the canister in her direction, Jasper bit her lip in an effort not to let her inner terror manifest in tears. Any show of strong emotion could be what tipped the former assistant over the edge. Something she was determined not to let happen. 

"Travis." Jasper made eye contact. "I know why you're doing this."

"Like hell you do!" Travis practically spat, seething with rage. 

"I do know. And I know none of this will bring your brother back."

"You think I don't know that? This isn't just for him. This is for all those nights I spent dreaming of seeing my brothers face again, only to wake up and remember that he was gone and never coming back!" 

Jasper took as deep a breath as she could, heart pounding so hard and fast in her chest she could almost swear she heard it beating. It was clear that Travis was approaching the point of no return- when he would ignore all attempts at reasoning with him and let loose whatever deadly chemical had already caused so much damage. His eyes had widened further, and his skin was visibly prickling with sweat- causing him to adjust his hold on the black canister. Which meant she had to talk fast, and act faster.   
There was no way that anyone else was getting hurt on her watch, even if it meant breaking the oath she had taken- the one every doctor took. To do no harm. Once, the thought of breaking that damn near sacred oath would have been impossible. But now, it was beginning to look like the only viable option. She just had to stall long enough for help to arrive, and edge close enough to Travis to take him down if said help was too late. 

Looking behind herself for a moment, Jasper took in the unspoken fear in Rafael's eyes, part of an expression she'd never seen before on her friend. Not in all the times he’d thrown himself into danger without a second thought. Took in the terror etched firmly into Danny's face as he hovered over Bobby's prone form, terrified to move to help the man in case he incurred Travis' wrath. The fear on the Senator's face made little impact, as a dark part of her couldn't help but entertain the idea he at least somewhat deserved what his former assistant had inflicted on him. 

_She'd known he wasn't what he said he was after his phone call earlier that day, but to know his negligence had cost 3 innocent lives, and the life of a **child** …_

**No.**

She couldn't let her thoughts wander. Not when all four people, despite one of whom didn't deserve any kindness, were quietly reliant on her ability to placate the unstable Travis. The entire situation was pretty much a literal ticking time bomb, the rising tension in the air almost thick enough to cut with a scalpel. Every second that ticked on, the room around them felt smaller and smaller- as if the walls were closing in around them in tandem with time running out.

"I know you're hurting, Travis." Jasper took an experimental step forward, brushing off Rafael's hands when he tried to stop her. "You have every right to."

"He was just a kid. Just a fucking kid. He should have been able to…to grow up. To find…to find someone." Travis' voice shook, tears brimming in his eyes, before he took a deep breath to stabilise it. "But all that got taken away by the fucking Senator and his fucking cost-cutting, backroom deals!" 

The guy's voice was beginning to rise with every word he spoke, cracking when his tone reached a fever pitch- alerting Jasper to the knowledge they had only moments left before he snapped one last time and unleashed the chaos contained within the canister. Moments left before Bobby would be too far gone for CPR to bring him back. Back to his family...to his daughter. Too late for Danny and Rafael to be seen to- leaving one of her closest friends’ hearts damaged beyond relief. Leaving Raf’s vovo to fall apart in grief, their entire community mourning with her. 

Thoughts of her own safety barely crossed her mind. Jasper knew if she started to focus too much on who and what she too, would be leaving behind and unfinished, it would become overwhelming. The entire situation was already near too much for her to bear.

"Travis." Jasper took another step forward, fighting back tears when Travis' fingers moved to the canister's trigger. "You have every right to be angry with the Senator. I would be too, if I was in your place-" 

"But you're not." Travis cut in.

"I'm not." Jasper spoke calmly, trying to placate him with her words. "I understand your anger-"

"How? Did that assholes fucked up decisions destroy _your_ life?" Travis gestured angrily at Senator Farrugia, canister waving wildly. 

"Not directly, no."

"What-" 

"His bad decisions caused you pain. And you've acted on it. Bringing myself and my friends into the middle of it all."

"I just wanted him to pay."

"I know, Travis." Jasper dared edge closer. 

"You weren't supposed to find out."

"That's right. You were very careful. Which tells me you didn't want to hurt Bobby or Danny."

"Only…only because-" 

"They got in the way?" 

"Yeah."

"But my point is they got in the way. They're suffering. Fortunately, you can still walk away from this."

"How? I can't just-" 

"Bobby hasn't been gone long enough for the lack of oxygen to do irreparable damage to his brain. If you let us go, we can still save him. Him, and Danny, and Rafael."

"I want to let you go-" 

"All you have to do is put that canister down and walk away." 

"But I can't. I'm not an idiot. I know I won't get away with this. I knew that when I bought the fucking canister out. At least I can take the Senator down with me." Travis gripped the canister firmly. 

"And all of us as well?" Jasper looked round at Rafael, a prone Bobby, and paling Danny for emphasis. 

"If I have to. As long as the Senator goes down, I.don't.care.anymore." 

A chill ran down Jasper's spine, as Travis' fingers moved back over the canister's trigger, expression morphing from anger to one of grim determination. This was it, she realised. His point of no return- there would be no more attempts at reasoning with the former assistant. Which meant there was only really one option available to her. One which went against everything she'd learned as a Doctor. Words which began echoing in her head, as adrenaline started working through her system, while she braced herself for what was to come. 

_The physician must be able to tell the antecedents, know the present, and foretell the future._

_They must mediate these things, and have two special objects in view with regard to disease._

**_Namely, to do good…_ **

**_Or to do no harm._ **

All those words...the panicked voices of Rafael, Danny, and the Senator as Travis' fingers began squeezing the trigger...all of those faded into white noise as Jasper launched herself at the former assistant. Using a strength she didn't even know she had, she tackled him, arm coming up to brace him against the wall by his throat- enough to make him choke and gasp. But not enough to make him drop the canister. Jasper had known it wouldn't be enough, but she launched herself at Travis anyway. She knew she couldn't stop him from pulling the trigger, and that at close range she'd not have long before she ended up like poor Bobby, but she could at least stop whatever was in that canister from causing any more harm. And in that at least, she succeeded. 

Whilst the click of the trigger, and sensation of the oily substance damn near drenching her body, in time with the stinging chemical rushing down her throat brought forth deeper waves of terror, Jasper was somewhat comforted by the knowledge that her actions had hopefully bought Rafael and Danny the time to be saved. By the knowledge that they'd be able to prevent any of the chemicals escaping into the hospital's ventilation system, and getting to all those people she was terrified of losing. 

"Jasper-" Rafael's stunned voice slowly brought her back to reality. 

Swallowing hard, Jasper blinked rapidly and breathed deep, in an attempt to regain some semblance of control over her steadily rising emotions. Emotions that threatened to spill over like the tears that had begun running silently down her face. The old habits worked, somewhat. Enough at least to look over at the one responsible for all the madness. 

Travis, who was alternating between examining his own oily-coated body and Jasper herself, in visible shock- struggling for breath as bruises no doubt formed on his throat beneath her arm. The canister had since dropped from his hands, rolling around on the floor until it hit the frame at the end of the bed. 

"Jasper!" Rafael raised his voice, coming to stand at her side- moving towards the right, and into her line of sight. 

"Raf-" Jasper slowly turned to face him, not quite willing to let Travis go. 

"Do you have any more of that-" Rafael started, eyes darting between her and the former assistant.

"Stay back, Raf." Jasper interrupted. 

"I'm not moving-" he started. 

"You've already-" 

"Exactly. I've already been infected by whatever this is."

"But-" 

"I can at least stand next to you."

"No convincing you otherwise?" 

"No." Rafael smiled slightly, eyes lacking their usual sparkle. 

"Fine." Jasper found herself smiling a bit, despite the tears staining her face and mixing with a layer of oily chemicals." Travis, is that-" 

"No. There's no more." Travis gasped. "Why did you-" 

"I wasn't going…" Jasper struggled to catch her breath as the adrenaline began to ebb away. "Wasn't going to let you hurt anyone else."

"Thought you doctors…" Travis' expression darkened, as he dared to let the corners of his mouth quirk upwards in a smile. "Took a vow. What was it- do no harm?" 

"Pretty sure in this situation…I can say fuck that." Jasper finally stepped back, and let the former assistant crumple to his knees. "And fuck.you."

Stumbling back, when the last of the adrenaline left her, she reluctantly allowed herself to be steadied by Rafael. His familiar, endearing smile remained, bringing just as much needed comfort as his hands on her shoulders. It was enough for her to finally let out the breath she didn't even realise she'd been holding, giving herself a moment before letting his hands fall away to turn and face Danny. The poor guy looked just as petrified as Jasper knew she and Rafael were both feeling. Even if the latter would never admit to it. 

Offering what she hoped was a reassuring smile, Jasper let her gaze wander over to the Senator. He was backed as far into a corner as he possibly could be, eyes wide with fear. But, _unfortunately_ , still alive. 

Sadly, Jasper soon discovered, the same couldn't be said for Bobby. Encouraged by her smile, Danny had found the strength to press his fingers against the man's throat, hands trembling- only to look back up at her and Rafael and shake his head sorrowfully. Jasper had known there was little chance of getting to the friendly security guard before a lack of oxygen rendered attempts at CPR pointless, but having it confirmed was still a heavy blow. Just hours ago, she'd been chatting with the lovely man, listening as he rattled on about his plans to get his daughter the car of her dreams for her birthday. A birthday that Bobby would now never live to see. The first of many birthdays in which his family would feel his absence. Memories that he wouldn’t be a part of.

Tears began prickling in Jasper's eyes anew, as the weight of that realization and the events of the past few minutes hit her in one fell swoop- the rush of dizzying emotions enough to force her to take a seat on the edge of the bed behind her. Once she was somewhat grounded by her sitting down, she gained enough strength to finally look back towards Travis. Throat already bruising from where she pinned him against the wall, he now lay crumpled on his side on the floor- clawing at his damaged throat as he choked and gasped desperately for breath. 

The sweat clinging to his skin was swirling underneath a layer of slick chemicals, which shone like a streak of oil on a sunny day, further enlightened by the harsh hospital lights beaming down from the ceiling overhead. As she took in the young man's pitiful state, Jasper felt a new hit of terror stack up against the others- lifting her own arms to examine them for the first time. They, just like the rest of her, shone the same way as Travis now did. 

"Raf…" Jasper swallowed nervously, forcing herself to speak in an effort to regain some semblance of control. "We need to block the vent."

"Ok." Raf placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently before getting up, determination written firmly on his face. "Danny?" 

"Yeah?" Danny spoke weakly, voice shaking. "What...what do you need me to do?" 

"Think you can get to the door?" Raf asked. 

"We don't want anyone walking in here." Jasper supplied, rising shakily to her feet. 

"OK. I can…I can do that." Danny nodded determinedly. 

"You mean to shut us all in here?" the Senator finally piped up, from where he'd huddled in the corner. "I am not staying in here with the likes of-" 

"For once in your life, Senator…" Jasper whirled round, focusing on him. "Could you not be a condescending, selfish prick?" 

"You can't speak to me-" Senator Farrugia spluttered. 

"Considering one of the kindest men in this hospital just died trying to save you-" Jasper glanced down at Bobby's prone form before refocusing. "I'd suggest keeping whatever you have to say, to yourself."

Surprisingly, the Senator cowered under the force of the anger beneath her words, mouth clamping shut in an instant. Jasper doubted he'd stay silent for long, but it would be nice while it lasted. They had enough to worry about without that asshole mouthing off. 

"Think these will work?" Rafael drew her attention. 

Turning, Jasper saw a wad of plastic sheeting and a roll of medical tape in his trembling hands. It was a more primitive, Macgyver style fix, but it would be enough to keep the chemicals from potentially leaking. At least, until help arrived with the proper equipment, and the tech guys could disable or re-route Edenbrook's ventilation system. 

"Yeah, that'll work." Jasper nodded. "Boost me-" 

She was interrupted by the sound of retching- and found herself whipping round in the direction of the nauseating sound. From where he had begun to shake on the floor in the fetal position, curling in on himself, Travis was now struggling onto his hands and knees. Though he only managed to get a few inches off of the floor, his limbs were soon buckling under the effort of holding him up- somehow keeping him upright enough to almost projectile vomit onto the floor. The vile sound and all too familiar scent were enough to make Jasper's stomach start to turn. 

And Danny's also, judging by how he was gagging as he finally got the strength to get up and shut the door. The only one who hadn’t felt the need to avert his eyes, and instead keep an eye on the unstable man collapsing in on himself, was Rafael. And whilst Jasper knew he was one of the strongest people she knew, it wasn’t solely that which gave her hope. Danny was already retching, and she herself was feeling worse by the second, but if Raf wasn’t experiencing those same symptoms...it meant he’d possibly been spared from the worst of the chemical. 

"We need to move fast." Jasper swallowed a particularly powerful wave of whirling sickness.

Despite her words, she couldn’t help it when her mind began to wander away from the situation at hand. She'd been right in front of Travis when the full strength of the chemical deployed, after all, with only a mere few inches separating them. And he was already showing signs of decline, which meant Jasper herself wouldn't be far behind. 

Give or take a few minutes depending on their differentiating DNA. 

She'd known that when she tackled the guy. 

She'd been willing to take that risk. 

_But that didn't help the already petrifying levels of terror in her system._

"Boost me up." Jasper nodded to Rafael, once again forcing herself to refocus. 

Nodding determinedly, offering another winning smile of encouragement, he laced his fingers together- adjusting his stance. Once certain he was grounded enough to support Jasper's weight, Rafael nodded- and she cautiously stepped up. With his strength and added height, she was thankfully able to reach the air vent. Though it was difficult to focus on the task at hand, both from her own nausea and the fact she could already feel the normally heroically strong Rafael starting to shake from holding her up, Jasper somehow managed. 

Fighting back against the escalated terror and the rising nausea, she secured the plastic sheeting against the vent as tightly as she could, packing the medical tape against it until the roll was all but spent. With a few experimental pats and prods, Jasper was finally satisfied. Smiling down at Rafael, who echoed the expression, she accepted his aid in getting back down safely. 

Though they both moved carefully, she was unable to stop herself from stumbling. Her knees just seemed to…give out. The moment of weakness was just that, only a moment, but it was enough to send her reeling. It was only Raf's lightning quick reaction time that brought his arms round her fast enough to prevent her from collapsing entirely. 

Arms that held her gently despite their strength, carefully manoeuvring her until she was sat back on the edge of the bed once more. Hands that gripped her shoulders in an effort to ground her in reality, and not the fears that were swirling in her mind. Just as she was looking up towards those eternally friendly eyes, Jasper felt a chill run down her spine anew-when an all too familiar voice echoed in the quiet aftermath, backed by the sound of sirens approaching in the near distance. 

"Jasper?" Ethan spoke, voice as soft speaking her name as it always was. 

_A softness she had come to realise was only ever reserved for her._

"Ethan…" Jasper turned, not caring how she's neglected to use his proper title in their workplace, to face him. 

His expression was one of confusion, concerned etched into it all, eyebrows knotting together in a familiar frown. 

"Ethan." Jasper repeated, more for her own reassurance than anything else. "Don't...don't come in here."

"Jasper?" Ethan echoed her name again. 

"Travis…" Jasper spared a furious glance in his direction, before turning her eyes back to the reassuring sight of Ethan's face. "He tried to kill Senator Farrugia with whatever was in that canister."

Ethan followed her eyes to the empty black cylinder at the foot of the bed, skin visibly paling down a few shades as he did so. 

"Bobby took a blast of it to the face…and Danny got caught in the crossfire trying to help." Jasper blinked back the static that was forming in her vision. "Raf breathed some in, too."

"And you?" Ethan met her eyes once more. 

"I…was right by Travis when he set the last of it off." Jasper smiled sadly, not wanting to let on how she'd tackled the guy yet- she knew Ethan would be furious, albeit because he was concerned for her. 

As her words began to sink in, Jasper saw a new expression slip through the cracks in his normally stoic exterior. 

One she'd never seen before, and one she hated to, however indirectly, be the cause of… 

_It was terror._

**_Terror, which went beyond fear itself._ **


	2. The Decline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sound of his voice calling out to her gave her the spark of energy she needed. Which she managed to drag up from the lingering consciousness that remained with her, even beneath the pain and exhaustion...and the fear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the first chapter was really well received! I appreciate the comment and kudos on here, as well as the kind messages I've received over on tumblr! Really glad you're all enjoying it as much as I enjoyed writing it! 
> 
> I'm back with Chapter 2. Just to make things clear as I did change a few things, namely this: Senator Farrugia is trapped in the room with them. Still undecided on whether or not he’ll make it out. 
> 
> I did some research but forgive me if I take some creative liberties. Also this chapter is kinda gross for medical stuff and the fact that the Maitotoxin causes vomiting, so fair warning. I didn’t exactly enjoy writing some of it haha. I can watch the Walking Dead and such while eating with no issue.
> 
> But vomit? No sir, no thank you. 
> 
> Also I finished this at 4am so if I missed anything due to being too fucking tired to proofread, please let me know.

As she took in the way Ethan's face shifted, the way his expression dropped and his eyes went wide- all the blood visibly draining from his face, Jasper felt her heart break. She'd never seen him look so downcast before. Yes, he'd understandably mourned the loss of Dolores- which was the first time she'd ever seen the stoic Doctor break his expression of resolve. She'd seen how his calm and collected exterior had cracked, showing fragments of emotion from the person he was underneath it all. And he'd damn near been in despair when he believed there was nothing they could do to help Naveen, closer to falling to pieces than he'd ever been before. So to see such a terrorized expression that eclipsed all others she'd seen on his stunning face, and know it was for  _ her _ …was something else entirely. 

"Jasper." Ethan repeated her name, taking a deep breath to collect himself before continuing. "Is Bobby-" 

"He's gone. We…couldn't try CPR because…" Jasper found her gaze drifting over to Travis. 

He'd since collapsed in a puddle of his own vomit, body trembling violently- skin shining in a sheen of sweat and oily chemical. He looked utterly pathetic, but given how he'd already caught them all off guard once with the canister, Rafael had yet to leave his side- hovering over him. With his own hands starting to shake. Hands that he clenched into fists when he looked up, and saw Jasper turning her focus to him. Swallowing nervously at the implications of that gesture, she found the strength to look back towards Ethan. 

"There was nothing we could do." Jasper concluded. "I'm sorry-" 

"No. You-" Ethan forced a smile onto his face, in what was clearly an attempt to offer some form of comfort. "None of that is on you."

Jasper was about to speak, grief tugging at her heart in tandem with steadily overwhelming guilt, when she was interrupted by the sound of gasping. And it wasn't a singular noise motivated by shock. No, it was the consecutive sounds of someone  _ struggling to breathe.  _ Of pure desperation. Whipping round in the direction of the sound, Jasper followed it to Danny. Whose face was shining much like Travis- a mixture of sticky sweat and slick chemical. After summoning the strength to shut the door, he'd taken a seat beside Bobby's prone form- leaning his back against the wall for support. But now? He'd sat up straight, one hand coming to claw at his throat, with the other wrapped firmly around his stomach. Even the ever louder sirens couldn't drown out the noise which was making Jasper's heart pound ever faster, if it were even possible- it was already chugging along like a damn freight train. Which made it harder than she would've thought possible just to open her mouth and speak. 

"Keep an eye on him." Jasper gestured to Travis, making eye contact with Rafael. "But don't…don't get too close."

"I won't." Rafael nodded, concern etched into his expression beneath a glimmering sheen. "Jasper, are you sure?" 

"I'm…" Jasper closed her eyes for a moment as a particularly strong bout of nausea hit her, before reluctantly opening them again. "I'm sure."

"Anything other than shortness of breath?" Ethan asked, as Jasper carefully got to her feet. "What symptoms did Bobby-" 

"Just the shortness of breath, but he was gone not long after that." Jasper explained as she turned around cautiously. "His age…and a possible underlying complication…must have been what sent him into cardiac arrest." 

As she took in just how slow everything seemed to be moving, at how the slightest movement sent her vision spiraling into a blurred mess, Jasper turned to focus her gaze on Danny. His pupils were blown wide in a mixture of fear induced panic, skin turning into an interesting shade of red as he stared into a void that only he could see. His lips were the only thing not bathed in deadly scarlet- paler than his regular skin tone…and slowly tinting blue. And at the rate she was declining, they'd be impossibly saturated with the shade when she got there- and Danny would be past the point where she could help him. 

And they couldn't afford to have Rafael look away from Travis, either. Whilst Jasper definitely wanted that asshole to suffer for what he'd done to them, to feel the pain he'd inflicted on Bobby, she knew they had to keep an eye on him. To help him, as much as doing so made her blood boil. To keep him alive, which seemed ludicrous when someone Jasper had only ever known as kind and selfless, was lying dead on the floor not two feet away from his murderer. Being a decent human being wasn't on Jasper's radar where Travis was concerned. No, the sole reason for keeping an eye on the guy was that they had to know what sort of chemical he released. For at that moment, it was clear he'd be unable to answer- hence the need to keep him alive until they could get the answer they needed. 

Which meant Jasper needed to weather the storm of sickness causing chaos in her stomach, her throat almost seeming to burn with her body's inbuilt reaction to what would likely end up as a tribute performance to Travis' own morbidly, cartoon-like projectile vomiting. ( _Okay, probably not the best train of thought, given the peaking levels of nausea she was experiencing._ )

Which meant ignoring the sound of Ethan shouting down his phone at the unfortunate soul on the opposite end. Ignoring how he turned from focusing on his phone, to turning back to face her- the frown deepening on his face each time their eyes met. Which meant ignoring that his voice was slowly being drowned out by the approaching sirens. Sirens which Jasper hoped would get there before it was too late for any of them- because the longer it took for help to arrive, the longer it would leave the room without proper quarantine procedures. And the longer they would go without assistance, and the equipment they'd need to stay alive until they figured out whatever fucking nightmare Travis had just unleashed on them. 

Which also meant ignoring how terrified she felt at the idea of ending up in the same state as Danny or Travis, and focusing instead on doing whatever she could to save her friend. On examining the symptoms and treatments for the shortage of breath her friend was experiencing, and what little equipment she could see in the room. If there was ever the worst possible time for a room to be tidied and sterilized before an operation, or just a bad time for that in general, it was now. Because in anticipation of the Senator's scheduled surgery, the equipment from his room had been removed to be sterilized, and replaced where necessary. Meaning they'd be lucky to find a fucking band-aid…

"Hang in there, Danny." Jasper willed her voice not to shake, interrupting her own thoughts before they could spiral further. 

Rising to her feet, and feeling a spike of panic stab her heart when black dots formed in her blurred vision as a result, Jasper examined what she could find around the bed. Doing so much as blinking was growing irritating and tiresome, so crouching up and down to rummage frantically through the cupboards was as far from ideal as Jasper could get. If she thought she felt sick before, she came to realize, it was nothing she felt compared to after her shortened search. Her stomach itself seemed to be twisting and turning within, sharp spikes of pain forming a duet with the waves of nausea that she found were close to cresting. 

When she found nothing near the bed, Jasper cursed quietly. Every second that passed, Danny's breathing had grown more and more strangled, each choked gasp getting close to sending tears streaming down Jasper's face. She'd heard, and seen, many patients in similar distress. Some she'd even been unable to save. But it was something else entirely, when it was a friend. A person who was far too young to be close to death, and someone who was dear to another of her closest friends. It brought a heightened sense of panic, and more metaphorical skipped heartbeats than Jasper mentally felt comfortable with. 

But it was those same emotions that spurred her onward, having to tactfully push Rafael down when he attempted to get up to help her- pain and guilt etching their cruel markings into his face, taking over the once steadfast smile. It was those same emotions that she used to quell the surge of nausea, and to put one foot in front of the other. Those same emotions that made her swallow the bile building in the back of her throat, body trembling as she did so- in order to get enough strengthened momentum to cross the room, and reach the cabinets against the wall opposite the bed. 

"Stay with me, Danny!" Jasper fought back tears as his breaths went from frantic to heartbreaking, weakened gasps. 

All but tearing open the cabinet doors, finding relief in the adrenaline that had finally decided to grace her with its presence after the untimely departure following her tackling Travis, Jasper rummaged through the cupboard. It was stocked with some basic essentials. Disinfectants, individually packaged tools, spare sheets- no major equipment that she could utilise. As the gravity of the discovery quickly began weighing on her heart, Jasper wracked her nausea, panic muddled brain for a solution. She couldn't get Ethan to bring her what she needed, because she knew the slightest contact with the chemical could be damn near fatal- evidenced by Danny's rapid decline after trying to help Bobby when he first collapsed. And because they couldn't even open the fucking door to get that aid, for those same reasons. She couldn't even help Danny the old fashioned way, breathing for him, because any more of the chemical could prove even more lethal in his case. It could be what tipped his stressed body over the precipice and into cardiac arrest. 

Biting her lip to make a dual effort to combat her nausea, and the tears brimming in her eyes, Jasper tried to get herself to focus. Danny was growing weaker by the second, his time without a sufficient oxygen supply understandably beginning to take its fateful toll on his now weakened body. And that was without the concern of how Rafael had been doing, in the time she'd been forced to turn her back on him. 

They'd been low on time before, but this truly was down to the wire. And his options were harshly limited. Jasper was beginning to wonder how she could even treat him, given the risk of passing more of the unknown chemical onto him. 

Turning away from the cupboard, and looking around rapidly, she scanned the room for anything that could offer Danny relief. Yes, she'd already searched the cupboards, but the situation was making it evident that Jasper needed to take an unconventional approach, if she were to have even the slightest chance of saving her friend. Gaze roving over every inch of the now-familiar room, she found her gaze drifting to the modernized fan plugged in next to the bed. The sight of it, being the only real equipment in the room, brought forth something she remembered from one of her many 3am study sessions, fueled by desperation and caffeine. She'd read somewhere, on the search for unconventional treatments, that a hand fan could be used to aid shortness of breath. That using a handheld fan to blow air across the nose and face could reduce the sensation of breathlessness. Because the air generated by the whirling fans brought forth the feeling of the force of air- albeit artificial. That while inhaling the generated air, it could make someone feel like more air was getting in. 

Sure, definitely an unconventional treatment method. And what they had wasn't exactly a hand fan. But it was a  _ fan- _ which was close enough, and in their situation Jasper couldn't be picky about the specifics. 

Emboldened by the possibility of alleviating Danny's panicked distress, Jasper focused fully on the adrenaline working it's way through her system, pumping much-needed boosts of energy through her veins- and attempted to jog across the room to save precious time. Which soon proved a mistake. As while the worst of the nausea and blurred vision had been held at bay by pure adrenaline and innate strength, both chose the worst possible time to leave her body. Namely, right as she was rounding the corner of the bed towards Danny- and at the same time. Overwhelming sickness cascaded through her body, sending chills down her spine- in tandem with renewed and shitty static vision. In perfect unison with her knees completely giving out, betraying her as she stumbled downwards. 

Barely able to catch herself on the frame of the bed, Jasper found her heart pounding so harsh and fast that she could swear she was hearing it, even over the white noise that had made its unwelcome return to her ears. But even the bed was of little help, as her arms had decided to join forces with her knees and just fucking  _ give up _ . 

They'd started trembling when she grabbed the frame from support so she should've seen it coming- but it was still a shock when she found herself collapsed on her side on the floor. Found herself with a pounding agony when her head made harsh contact with the unforgiving ground. Cruelly, almost within reach of Danny. 

Whose eyes had widened further in fear, if that were even possible. Seeing a new terror take its home in his expression, Jasper willed her body to just obey her, but any attempt at movement was futile. 

"Jasper!" Rafael shouted in horror, likely having turned from Travis the second he heard her fall. 

He was at her side in an instant, arms reaching down to her. Any anger she held for leaving Travis unguarded, faded when those strong hands cautiously gripped her shoulders. When Rafael tried to turn her onto her back, Jasper weakly shook her head, grimacing as the room danced in a kaleidoscope around her…somehow summoning the strength to speak. She definitely felt shittier than she ever had before, but there was no way she was giving up on Danny. And, she realized, she also couldn't let Raf keep coming into contact with her. He was the one who had taken in the least of the chemical, and his symptoms thus far seemed to reflect that- which was something Jasper couldn't let change. 

"The fan." Jasper forced her mouth to cooperate. "Danny. Breath- it'll help him feel like...he's got more…more air-"

"Jasper-" Rafael interrupted, clearly torn between helping her and aiding Danny. 

"Help Danny." Jasper spoke through gritted teeth, tilting her head to make eye contact with Rafael. "He…needs you more than I do right now."

"I will, I will." Rafael grimaced as he stood up to move around her, quickly masking it with a wavering smile. 

As Rafael passed her by, he shot Jasper down a concerned look, eyes shining with barely withheld emotion. Jasper couldn't ever remember seeing her friend this way. He was basically a real-life superhero, with the charisma and bravery to match a winning smile. Even in the worst of situations, he remained the same, seeming to douse any fear with bouts of adrenaline as he worked, expression and resolve never wavering. Rafael didn't exactly hide his emotions, but she'd only really ever seen him happy. How he remained that way in even the worst of situations, when he threw himself into harm's way to save another. How his smile never left his face, even during that terrifying time when he'd woken up after his surgery, having taken insane risks again to protect lives during the subway derailment. So this, in many ways, was close to mirroring the horror she'd felt when she saw Ethan's face. 

Rafael's smile was uncharacteristically uncertain, expression wavering beneath a slowly decaying layer of calm resolve. 

It wasn't right. 

Not on Rafael, on the usually upbeat Danny… 

_ On Ethan… _

On  **any** of them. 

"Jasper!" Ethan called out, evidently having finished verbally ending the life of whoever he was calling. 

She wanted nothing more than to turn over and face him, so she could at least see his face- but any attempts at moving even the slightest amount were futile. Her body had just decided it was no longer listening to her, all four limbs taking an untimely vacation, leaving her still sprawled ungracefully on her side. Even just doing that, lying there, was more effort than running a damn marathon. And she'd done a few of those in med school to raise funds, so that was saying something. With all ideas of turning to see the face belonging to someone she'd become so fond of now stashed at the back of her mind, Jasper redirected what little focus she could retain into speaking. She didn't want to think about what Ethan might do if she didn't respond. 

"I'm here." Jasper cursed inwardly at how shaken and uncertain her voice sounded. 

With all the strength she had left, Jasper fought against the exhaustion cloaking her body. The effort of doing so was agony, creating a pounding ache in her head as her body screaming at her to stop- but she still kept going, sweat beading on her brow as she somehow got onto her front. With some of her weight now balanced by leaning on her elbows, Jasper desperately tried to catch her breath- for the sheer effort of just moving the slightest amount had left her near breathless. It was almost as if the wind had been knocked out of her, a sensation she'd never felt before. At least, not to this extent. Although it was undeniably uncomfortable, and bordering on painful as her lungs burned with choked breaths, Jasper grappled with her mental and physical strength- until she could finally draw in a breath. 

"You shouldn't move." Ethan warned. 

"I can-" Jasper started. 

"He's right." Rafael spoke, voice taking on an exhausted tone. 

"I'm not-" Jasper tried speaking again, before she finally recalled the reason she was on the ground in the first place. 

The short term memory issue was just as, if not more so, concerning than the multitude of pain variations springing up throughout her body in time with the nausea. Danny had been choking to  _ death,  _ with no equipment in the room to give him even the slightest relief- and she had battled her own symptoms to find what was perhaps the most unconventional treatment method she'd ever considered. Those were incredibly significant, which was  _ why  _ the short term memory loss was concerning. Little things could be forgiven, attributed to panic and stress, but this? This wasn't the kind of thing you could forget, under any circumstances. But Raf hadn't communicated any memory issues, which left only one explanation remaining. One which would also explain the budding headache. But an explanation that could wait, even if only for a moment. 

"Danny-" Jasper finally managed to look up, vision blurring. 

"We need to-" Rafael started. 

"Is Danny-" Jasper started. 

"You need to lay back-" Ethan interjected. 

Pushing their voices to the back of her now muddled mind, Jasper focused on what was more important in that moment. She was terrified for Rafael, of course, and the fact that Travis would die before they got the answers they so desperately needed. She was terrified that the Senator, who had remained suspiciously quiet, save for the odd curse or grumble, would eventually give in to selfishness and escalate the situation unnecessarily. Which was to say nothing of the fear that she wouldn't be able to hold Ethan in her arms again. But superseding all of those fears was that she'd been too late to save her friend. Jasper knew Ethan and Rafael were just trying to help her, because she likely had a minor concussion at the least- if the mother of all headaches was any indication, but she had to know. She had to know whether she'd gotten to Danny in time to save him, or if her unconventional methods had even been successful. So Jasper looked up, focusing on what she could see in her steadily blurring vision. 

Rafael was sat in front of Danny, exhaustion evident in his frame as he leaned back against the bed- shakily holding the fan out towards the young nurse. He'd gotten it as close to their friend as he could, keeping it aloft even though it was clear that was beginning to take a toll on Rafael's near boundless strength. Encouraged by how he was looking at her in concern, and not Danny, Jasper turned her gaze to the nurse in question. And felt such an overwhelming sensation of relief that she nearly collapsed right back down- barely able to hold herself up in the aftermath of the emotional release. Because Danny was no longer choking to death, clawing desperately at his own throat as his face flushed blood red. 

Because he was leaning back in relief that mirrored Jasper's own, head tilted back, and eyes blinking slowly where they appeared focused on the hospital ceiling above. 

_ Because he wasn't dead, like Bobby was a disturbingly short distance away.  _

Because he was  _ alive.  _

**Danny was, against all odds, still alive.**

And  _ breathing _ , not gasping or choking on strangled breaths. 

"He's breathing." Jasper spoke, voice hushed in awed relief. 

"With some difficulty…" Rafael drew in a breath, grimacing. "But he'll make it."

"For now." Senator Farrugia spoke up from where he'd cowered in a corner, startling them all enough to draw all their gazes. 

"Excuse me?" Ethan spoke from the other side of the window, hand against the glass. 

"We don't know what was in that canister." the Senator scoffed. "He could be dead in the next few minutes, and we wouldn't be far behind."

"Did you come into contact with the substance?" Ethan spoke, almost through gritted teeth, his hand against the glass slowly clenching into a fist. 

"Only a little." Senator Farrugia frowned. 

"Then I suspect you'll-" Ethan was visibly restraining himself from taking out his frustration. 

"I'll what? Be fine?" the Senator spoke hurriedly, interrupting. "How do you know if I'll be fine?" 

"He's just trying…" Jasper swallowed, grimacing as bile burned at the back of her throat. "To help-" 

"Help? Help would be him getting in here, and getting me out!" Senator Farrugia protested. 

"We have to stop it from spreading-" Ethan tried speaking again, hand clenched so tightly into a fist that the whites of his knuckles were beginning to show. 

"I barely got any on me." the Senator offered up his arms, rising to his feet. "You said I'll be fine-" 

"I said nothing of the sort, Senator." Ethan took a deep breath, glancing at Jasper with a pained expression before continuing. "I was going to say I suspect you'll have a better chance of surviving whatever your former aide released from that canister."

"How can you know-" Senator Farrugia started. 

"Because you had little contact with the chemical, as you explained." Ethan interrupted. "It helps, in your case, to be staying in that corner-" 

"Are you trying to say I'm a coward, Dr Ramsey?" the Senator scoffed. 

"One of our staff died trying to save your life, Senator." Ethan's voice rose slightly, pairing with the visual image of his eyes darkening in anger. "And the nurse who tried to save him almost suffocated to death. You neglected to offer any form of-" 

"Of what? Help?" Senator Farrugia spoke mockingly, before his eyes narrowed. "Also, if we are to speak about cowardice, I would say you have no authority on the matter."

"Senator-" Ethan warned. 

"As you haven't lifted a finger to help either. You've just stood on the other side of that glass, watching us all suffer." the Senator interjected, expression a contorted mixture of anger and fear. 

"You think I don't want to be in there?" Ethan dropped the honorific. "I can assure you, that is the opposite of what I feel. I would give anything to be in there. But I know I can't be selfish and just think about myself."

"You're treading dangerously-" Senator Farrugia leaned forward. 

"If I open that door, I risk exposing everyone in Edenbrook to what was in that canister." Ethan began, ignoring the man's protests entirely. "I cannot ignore the safety of my patients and my colleagues in the name of my feelings."

As he uttered the word 'feelings', Ethan's eyes drifted back over to Jasper once more. If she felt she knew how his pain and terror looked like before, she was heartbreakingly wrong. This was so much worse, enough that it brought fresh tears to the corners of Jasper's eyes. The pain etched into his expression was damn near agony, with even his famously stoic eyes shining with unshed tears. Terror showed itself in his dilated pupils, and in the way his clenched fist trembled ever so slightly. This was Ethan Ramsey, famous for his composure and ability to diagnose and handle a situation no matter the extremity of the circumstances, looking at Jasper like he'd throw it all away just to be at her side- but knowing he was unable to do so. 

"Your…your feelings?" the Senator scoffed, redirecting Jasper's attention. 

"Unlike you, I am not-" Ethan started. 

The budding row was abruptly stopped in its tracks, when Travis, who had thus far remained silent where he lay in his own vomit, let out a strangled choke. Such a sound was sickening enough, but when it was combined with the sound of gurgling, and then outright choking- it started to turn Jasper's stomach. Enough that she found herself retching, something she hadn't done in…well…such a long time that she couldn't even properly remember. It was a feeling she didn't welcome experiencing again, because whilst the recollection of the surrounding circumstances faded, nothing could ever erase the memory of just how unpleasant it was to expel your own stomach contents. Jasper almost found herself mimicking Travis' morbidly impressive vomiting spell, only saved by an iron will and multiple deep breaths. 

"Damn it, he's suffocating." Ethan turned to look down the hallway, desperately looking for a sign of any help coming their way. "They can't be far."

"They? CDC? FBI?" Rafael spoke up, eyes dangerously dazed, having to take a deep breath before continuing. "I should get to Travis-" 

"No. You need to…" Jasper grimaced as the world wavered around her, stomach feeling as if she were experiencing consecutive punches to the gut. "You can't leave Danny."

"And you can't move." Ethan warned, constantly glancing back down the corridor. "I can see a small contusion-" 

"We can't let Travis die." Jasper interrupted, mentally trying to force her limbs to cooperate. 

"Why not? That piece of-" Senator Farrugia started. 

"I understand you're stressed-" Ethan tried reasoning with the increasingly unstable man. 

"You can't understand, because you're out there-" the Senator interrupted. 

"If Travis dies, then we die too." Jasper spat out, finally able to sit up enough to lean back against the bed. 

"What?" Senator Farrugia stuttered. 

"He dies, we won't know what was in that canister." Jasper covered her mouth as a retching gasp threatened to escape. 

"Can't you run tests-" the Senator protested. 

"Those take time." Ethan explained, eyes narrowing at Jasper when he noticed her discomfort. 

"Time we might...not have. Given that Bobby is already gone." Jasper nodded slightly in Ethan's direction, which she regretted as it sent the headache up to a fever pitch of pain. "If Travis tells us…what it was…we save time."

"And if he doesn't tell us?" Senator Farrugia ran his hands down his face, breathing rapidly. 

“Cross that bridge-” Jasper took a deep breath. “When we get to it.”

Knowing that they were running out of time, or rather Travis was, Jasper closed her eyes for a moment- mentally and physically bracing herself for what was to come. Even just thinking about getting to her feet was nauseating enough, and that was while she was still on the ground. She’d already been on the verge of throwing up when the Senator’s former aide started choking, her head pounding like the world’s worst hangover. And that wasn’t even taking into account the blurriness that had steadily overtaken her vision, leaving her with the barest detail left, nor the overwhelming sense of weakness. Her mind was definitely there, and wasn’t giving up anytime soon, but her body seemed adamant on combating that. Despite all of that, Jasper somehow still found it within her to try. She didn’t like that she had to save Travis, though she knew that also went against the vows she’d sworn. She was supposed to adopt a neutral view, to give every patient the best care possible. But, as Jasper opened her eyes, she knew she’d challenge anyone to remain neutral in the impossible situation she’d gotten tangled up in. 

“Why don’t we switch?” Rafael spoke quickly, likely noticing how she was struggling just to lean away from the bed. “You sit here with Danny, and I’ll take care of-”

“You can’t afford to stop.” Jasper gestured in their friend’s direction. “Even for a second.”

“But you shouldn’t-” Rafael started.

“No time...to argue.” Jasper finally got semi-upright.

Turning around, she pressed her hands into the bed, using the sturdy furniture to brace herself, having to close her eyes again for a moment when she saw just how much she was trembling under the layer of slick chemical. She knew, however, that every second wasted on getting her bearings was a second closer to death for Travis. And none of them could afford to let that happen, because if Bobby had already succumbed to the effects of the chemical, and Danny had already gotten closer to death than any of them were comfortable with, the rest of them could potentially be close behind. The thought of that was terrifying, and it, along with a myriad of other reasons...gave Jasper the boost she needed to back away from the bed. Albeit, not without a stumble or two, and several rapid blinking sessions in an effort to restore some of her failing vision.

“Jasper-” Ethan started protesting.

Choosing to ignore him for the time being, though doing so sent new guilt-filled punches to her heart, Jasper directed all of her focus on the task at hand. She was only a few feet away from Travis. She just had to put one foot in front of the other, and close the short distance between them. A short distance that seemed more like a marathon than what was barely a metre, given how heavy her body felt beneath the exhaustion and nausea. If she hadn’t been struck by so much of the chemical, she likely would have been able to just clamber over the bed- but that was far beyond what her tiring body was currently capable of. And so she moved around the edge of the bed, hands resting on the frame whenever her knees threatened to give out again. Though each dip of the knees and missed grip of the bed sent chills of terror down her spine, she persevered- and was soon as Travis’ side. The former aide was still lying on his front- bubbles coming up grotesquely in the sizeable puddle of vomit. Normally she could deal with the sight and smell, as that was kind of part of the parcel of being a Doctor, but in the situation she found herself in...Jasper was almost heaving herself. 

It was a miracle that her own stomach didn’t turn when she was forced to kneel down amongst it all, to turn Travis onto his front. 

He honestly probably weighed the same as her, appearing a bit slimmer due to the few inches of height he had on her- but he might as well have weighed half a ton, given how hard it was to turn him onto his side. Changing the position of her hands multiple times, Jasper poured all her remaining energy into turning him over, eyes watering with the effort of holding in her own choked gasps as the waves of nausea overtook her. It was so much effort just to move him even in the slightest, that sweat had begun beading on her brow, and her arms trembled dangerously. Jasper knew that the second she got Travis over, she’d be far too close to passing out for comfort, but she couldn’t afford to focus on that. Not while her friends were relying on her to save the man, so he could face the consequences of what he’d done, and give them the answers they craved. 

And so, she eventually turned him over, inwardly grimacing as she tilted forwards in a kaleidoscopic mixture of exhaustion and nausea, forced to brace herself via her hands- on the closest flat surface. Which was, unfortunately, the vomit-covered floor.

After allowing herself a moment to breathe, as doing so was becoming increasingly difficult, Jasper hastily wiped the mess off of her hands as best she could by swiping them down her coat. It was definitely disgusting, and not her finest move, but it was better than just leaving it on her skin. It wasn’t until she got the last of the sticky substance off that she realised Travis had stopped choking. The side position she’d left him in would definitely have alleviated some of his breathing issues, but it wouldn’t render him entirely silent. Finding herself snapping into action as blessed adrenaline began to run through her system again, Jasper took full advantage of the sudden burst of strength. Combatting the mix of sickness, darkness creeping in at the edges of her blurred vision, and the trembling which had slowly begun to overtake her body, she leant down to listen to Travis chest- doing her best to ignore the fact her hair was being ruined by the mess on the floor. When she heard, and felt no indication of lung movement, Jasper immediately moved to check his pulse...and felt further chills dash down her spine when no signs of life greeted her. In the scant few moments she’d taken to steady herself, Travis' body had given in to the chemical’s symptoms. 

“They’re almost here!” Ethan called out from his position behind the window. “Jasper-”

“Travis isn’t breathing.” Jasper shouted back, tears prickling in her eyes at the burning pain which shot through her head as a result.

“He isn’t?” Senator Farrugia mumbled from his corner. “Oh god.”

Rolling up her sleeves, Jasper focused on the remnants of adrenaline still making their way through her system, and reluctantly turned Travis onto his back again. Doing so seemed to add to her exhaustion, and it wasn’t just from the physical toll of moving his body again. It was also that all the effort she’d expended to turning him onto his side was now wasted- but she couldn’t afford to let her mind wander down that path. It was already confused by the labyrinth of thoughts already taking over. Inhaling sharply, and willing her body to cling to consciousness just that little bit longer, Jasper positioned her hands over Travis’ heart with practiced ease. She’d done this a thousand times in a thousand different situations, but none were under circumstances such as these. Nothing compared to the sheer stress and terror of the situation she was currently in.

“Wait.” Rafael called. “If you perform CPR-”

“I might end up...taking in more of the chemical.” Jasper swallowed nervously, as her lungs began to burn with the effort of keeping her nausea at bay. “I know.”

Without any further hesitation, she rhythmically began pumping up and down on Travis chest- routinely glancing towards his face for any sign of life. Counting each and every movement, and noting down how an ominous darkness was creeping further forward from the corners of her blurred vision, Jasper went through the practiced motions. Stopping the pulses for a moment, when she’d counted up sufficiently, she pinched Travis nose with one hand- and leant down. The bitter taste of the chemical on her tongue when her lips pressed to his damn near sent her over the edge, but she battled through it, sending as much effort into that one breath as she could. Going until she herself was almost suffocating, Jasper was eventually forced to turn away, and go back to pumping her hands up and down on Travis’ chest.

“They’re in here!” Ethan called out in the background, voice fading as he stepped away from the window. “We need to evacuate this floor. And get-”

Tearing her focus away from him once more, though she wanted nothing else but to stare into his eyes once again, Jasper returned to her task. Every time her body moved up and down in tandem with the movements of her arms, the trembling only seemed to get worse- exacerbating the nausea to such a degree that she physically had to swallow back the bile to prevent herself from expelling her stomach contents. The fear of going through that when her lungs were already burning, and her head was pounding like a thousand people had trampled all over it, combined with the idea of not finding out what had killed Bobby...gave her what she needed. The adrenaline had long since ebbed away, but Jasper chose to ignore it. It didn’t matter if she ended up on the ground too, as long as she brought Travis back. 

Without him, they could all potentially end up like Bobby. And whilst no tears would be shed for the Senator’s passing, they’d leave in bucket loads if anything else happened to Danny and Rafael. Speaking nothing of what it could do to the people they’d leave behind. Sienna, Rafael’s vovo...all of her wonderful friends and room-mates. Of what this could do to  _ Ethan... _

And so, just as she was being forced to lean back to catch her breath, Jasper clasped her hands together, clenching them into the tightest fist she could. This would definitely break a few ribs or possibly crack his collarbone as a result, but the former aide wouldn’t be able to hold on until a sterilised crash cart arrived. No, she had to do this. Jasper had read about this during med school, and seen it in countless movies and TV shows, but in both instances it was only ever used as a last resort. Which, fortunately, this definitely counted as. And so she raised her hands above his chest, tears silently dripping down her face with the sheer effort- before bringing them down with all the force she could muster. A sickening crack echoed through the once-silent room when her fists made contact with Travis’ chest, but it was soon overpowered by a strangled gasp escaping his mouth. 

A gasp soon followed by another, and another, when he arched his back and his eyes snapped open. Reacting quickly, for fear he could end up struggling for breath once more, Jasper turned him back onto his side.

Doing so stole the last of her energy, leaving her to struggle for breath as she leant back against the bed. Ideally, she’d be moving away from the mess on the ground, but that meant getting back onto her feet again. Which was, as much as Jasper loathed to admit it, was pretty much impossible. The nausea was pretty much past the peak, and it was taking every ounce of concentration and restraint not to echo Travis’ earlier motions and do an encore performance of projectile vomiting. And then there was the mother of all headaches. A headache which was more comparable to, at the very least, a minor concussion- which could actually be the case, going by how she’d hit her head harm enough for the skin to split and form a contusion. Which she could now  _ definitely  _ feel- the injury was now throbbing painfully.

“Jasper?” Rafael called out, breaking the tense silence that had fallen.

“He’s…” Jasper took a deep breath. “He’s alive.”

“Not sure whether I should be pleased by that or not.” Senator Farrugia spoke up.

Unsure of how to answer, Jasper fell back into silence once more. Though she wanted nothing more than to close her eyes and take a moment to herself, she was terrifyingly aware that doing so was now incredibly dangerous. It wasn’t just that the exhaustion was more prevalent than before, leaving her feeling drained in the absence of any adrenaline, her limbs almost numb from the effort she’d expended in saving Travis. It was also the concussion- she couldn’t allow herself to give in to said exhaustion, as falling asleep with any head injury was unwise until it had been examined. She just had to hold on a little longer. Following Ethan’s shout, a multitude of footsteps had echoed up and down the corridor. The sound of all those people rushing around, and the dizzying noises of equipment being pulled every which way, was almost deafening. Which was only exacerbated when patients began to be moved, voices of confusion and fear ringing out alongside the beds wheeling their way down the polished floor. It was almost like a regular day at the hospital, with the buzz of activity, and so Jasper tried to find some comfort in the vague familiarity- but was unable to do so. 

Every time she tried to refocus, she was eventually drawn back to the chaos of the present, by the agony in her head, spiking pain in her stomach- and vertigo inducing waves of nausea. The frustration of finding no escape in it all was bad enough, but the fear was soon rearing its ugly head above it all. Bobby was already gone, taken away from them just like that. One second, he’d been the strong, grounding presence they needed against Travis. And the next? He was dead. His smile now seemed eerie in her memories, a reflection of the man who had greeted her every day with a wave and bright expression, eyes shining with joy and warmth. The man who’d spoken of his daughter at every possible opportunity, full of pride for the woman she was becoming. A woman whose major life milestones he would now never live to see. And then Travis himself had fallen. That in itself was no tragedy, save for the circumstances which had driven him to such desperation. But he had been in even better physical health than Bobby, given he was a good decade or so his junior, and he’d been close to death only moments ago. 

Then there was Danny, who was the picture of health. Active, always bounding around and going about his duties with rarely a complaint- smile bringing much needed levity to tense situations. And one Jasper had seen reflected in Sienna, when the two gravitated towards one another. He’d ingested even less of the chemical than Bobby and Travis, having gained it from the former in a secondary manner- only to be gasping and choking for breath. All of those combined were bringing about the majority of Jasper’s fear. She knew that there was a strong possibility she could end up like Bobby. It was practically fact, given how the canister had been aimed more towards her when it went off, and how her entire body seemed to shimmer under the harsh hospital lights. But alongside that major fear, and always present, was the idea of her friends somehow getting mixed up in the chaos. That was a low possibility now, given how help had arrived and they’d started to clear the floor, but still present enough to cause Jasper worry. And then, to top off the fucked up mixture, was the fear of it getting to Ethan. Or, which was as heartbreaking as it was terrifying, was the idea of every time she saw his face possibly being the last time she saw it.

“Jasper?” Ethan’s voice broke through Jasper’s dangerously spiraling thoughts, somehow even more shaken than before. “Are you-”

“I’m-” Jasper paused when her own voice shook, becoming acutely aware in that moment of how tears were sliding down her face, leaving tracks through the oily chemical. “I’m fine.”

“Not a good idea to lie to your boss, Rookie.” 

“Is that a joke?”

“I thought it might help.”

“Dr Ethan Ramsey…” Jasper took a deep breath, smiling despite it all at his attempt at humour. “Making jokes? And I thought...today couldn’t get any stranger.”

“It worked, didn’t it?” Ethan questioned.

“How can you...tell? I’m not...facing you.”

“By your voice.”

That, as amazing and wonderful as it was to hear, was what really drove home the desperation of Jasper’s situation. She knew Ethan would never normally speak this way in the presence of their colleagues, for fear of people drawing to...certain conclusions. Ones which would be correct of course, but still, unwise. Those conclusions would be fatal, and detrimental to both of their careers, especially given how she’d been specially selected for the prestigious position in the diagnostics team. Sure, Naveen had been the one to formally select her, but far too many people would choose to ignore that, in favour of the cliche alternative. So for him to forgo all the usual warnings and ways they’d skirted around each other at work, meant the fears in her mind were warranted. 

“Jasper?” Ethan’s voice broke through once more.

One thing she would never tire of, was him saying her name. She’d been lucky enough to hear it in a multitude of ways, in situations she could only have imagined in her wildest dreams, but this was one of her favourites. It was, at least for the persona he adopted at work, uncharacteristically soft. So much so, that it made her heart ache.

“Still here.” Jasper responded, not wanting to leave him without an answer for too long.

“Good. That’s-” Ethan took a deep breath. “We can’t let you fall asleep.”

“I know.” Jasper cleared her throat, grimacing as it forced the pounding in her head to spike. “Raf? How are-”

“We’re okay.” Rafael responded quickly. “Hanging in there.”

“Good. That’s…” Jasper frowned as the last of her clear vision blurred entirely. “That’s good.”

With her entire field of vision now a mess of blurred static, sporadically marked with black splotches, Jasper felt the sensation of nausea skyrocket. A tangled mess of colours swirling round in tandem with her stomach doing somersaults was proving to be just as unbearable as the agony building in her mind. If she thought the feeling of sickness was bad before, when she was rushing around the room on the last dregs of adrenaline to save Danny and Travis’ lives, Jasper quickly found what she was experiencing in that moment was worse. 

So much worse than she could have imagined it would get. It was enough that, despite the risk of collapse and falling into unconsciousness as a result, she steadily began bracing herself for what would be a difficult struggle to get on her feet. There was no way, even with it being technically safer than getting up, that she was going to follow in the footsteps of the Senator’s former aide, and end up in the fetal position amongst her own vomit. The thought of that alone was nauseating enough. And extremely humiliating.

And so, with a deep breath, Jasper braced her elbows against the bed frame behind her, using them to push herself forwards into more of a sitting position. Doing so, without the aid of adrenaline or immediate danger to fuel her, was such a gargantuan effort that her body shook with the force of it all. She could even feel sweat beading on her brow, sticking to her skin beneath the sheen of shining chemical oil. But she persevered, until she was able to turn around and brace herself on the edge of the bed, gripping to the frame as if her life depended on it. Gathering every last bit of strength she had, Jasper finally got semi-upright, only to have to lean forward and brace herself on her arms atop the mattress, as her blurred surroundings tilted.

Despite how difficult it proved, Jasper forced all of Ethan’s voiced concerns as she moved, and the sounds of chaos outside, to the back of her mind. It was harder than she could have ever imagined, given how she knew how the day would likely end- with her joining Bobby in whatever waited after death, leaving precious friends and loved ones behind. But at the same time, she knew if she was to avoid passing out and missing out on precious time with those people she cared so much about, she had to focus. And, somehow, she did. Even though moments ago she’d thought it was all but impossible. Albeit, whilst taking deep breaths in an effort to hold the sickness at bay. When a brief space of time passed, without any further black splotches obscuring what remained of her vision, Jasper finally leant back from the bed- able to stand upright a few moments later. It was a small, and sadly short victory.  She was able to remain standing, but not without the vertigo hitting her with full force, the ache in her head increasing tenfold. Jasper had dealt with a number of head injuries in her career, but as it had been for her other symptoms, it was something else entirely when dealing with it personally. She’d experienced a number of migraines and headaches over the years, products of too many long nights in poor lighting, eyes poring over textbooks and notepads. 

For once, she was grateful for her static-obscured vision. 

Jasper knew if she’d retained her normal sight, the room swimming around her like she’d downed a thousand bottles of whiskey would be far worse.

Moving along the bed, nerves spiking as she stepped past Travis, (despite the fact she was unable to see him) Jasper eventually got to the doorway of the room’s little ensuite. Pushing it open, with more force than what should’ve been necessary- given how lightweight it was- she ungracefully stumbled inside. Barely able to catch herself on a nearby cabinet, she shoved the door shut behind her. Or, at least, she attempted to. Her body had grown increasingly weak in her brief time on her feet, so the door barely reached a halfway shutoff point. The idea that her body was beginning to fail was terrifying, enough that it made Jasper pause for a moment. A moment that stretched too soon, she quickly realized, as the ground rose up to meet her. If it hadn’t been for her still outstretched arm, she would have faceplanted quite spectacularly- she just barely managed to grasp the rim of the sink, fingers slipping dangerously on the small structure before finally gaining traction. 

After allowing herself a moment to re-orient, and battle the neverending waves of nausea and vertigo; bringing the sparks of static into even smaller pixels amidst splotches of ominous black, Jasper finally got down safely to her knees. The relief she felt when she touched solid ground again was almost overwhelming, a relief she wished could have lasted a bit longer. Because, as soon as she was able to flip up the lid of the toilet, she was forced to lean over it as the burning sensation that had been building since her confrontation with Travis finally rushed up from her stomach. Not even using a moment to worry about shielding her hair from the onslaught, Jasper soon found herself gasping for breath- throat stinging as silent tears rushed down her face. Anticipation of the sickness exiting paled in comparison to the pain and breathlessness she now felt, as she clung to the edges of the toilet with trembling hands. The vile rush seemed to last an eternity, even though she ultimately knew it was only a few moments in reality. Knowing it couldn’t last did not help in the immediate moment, however- and Jasper found herself beginning to panic when expelling the sickness didn’t alleviate the stabbing pains in her stomach. When it went on longer than the few moments she thought she knew it would be. When she was almost choking, not even getting time to breathe between the turbulent waves.

Just as the black splotches in her vision were beginning to join together, beckoning dark tendrils in the corners of her blurred vision, Jasper felt herself near to passing out in sheer relief- when the onslaught finally ended. Now holding back outright sobs, as her tears dragged the chemical down her face, she leaned back- her strength having left her with the final bout of sickness, leaving her barely able to reach up to the flush handle. Which she soon realized she couldn’t even use- because although she’d seen that the chemical appeared to pass on via air or skin-to-skin contact, she couldn’t be entirely sure. And that meant she couldn’t risk making a fatal mistake, and have potentially infected fluids entering the hospital’s water system. Because whether air transmission or contact transferring the chemical was the thing’s method of invasion, the substance itself was incredibly potent- and dangerously toxic, as evidenced by Bobby’s untimely passing. And Travis’ own near brush with death. 

Choosing, for the time being, to simply shut the lid, Jasper took a brief moment to steady herself. She couldn’t remain where she was, because her surroundings were becoming oddly claustrophobic...and the odour of sickness was damn near unbearable. But getting back into the hospital room meant getting back on her feet, and if she’d thought that impossible before, it was closer than ever before. If it were even still possible for her to move from where she sat without passing out. She could barely even lift her arms to check if her hair had escaped the sickness unscathed, nor to wipe her mouth clean.

“Jasper?” Ethan’s voice called out, sounding even more harried and near-broken than before.

“In here.” Jasper groaned, as the intake of air scratched at her raw throat. “Just...give me a second.”

Yes, she definitely wasn’t looking forward to taking up the task of getting upright again- but it would have to be done, as Jasper had no desire to stay in the ensuite any longer than she already had. 

“Just hold on!” Ethan urged, his voice soon taken over by a multitude of others.

The sound of his voice calling out to her gave her the spark of energy she needed. Which she managed to drag up from the lingering consciousness that remained with her, even beneath the pain and exhaustion...and the fear. His voice had given her a new kind of hope, many times before that day, but in the aftermath of the altercation with Travis, it seemed to hold more weight than ever before. And she clung to it like a lifeline, as she braced her elbows against the wall behind her, giving the slightest push- generating just enough momentum to pitch forward. Moving with the direction of her failing body, Jasper reached for the edges of the sink, cursing when they found no purchase. Her oily, chemical covered skin had left shining imprints on the once spotless surface, leaving her with precious little room to work with. Though her heart dropped when her arms returned to her sides, Jasper refused to let her focus waver, and reached for the sink a second time. Which sent another wave of relief to combat the pain, when she finally grasped the edge. 

Her trembling hands’ grip on the sink was frail, but it was enough for her to force her body to work with her, and not against her- enough for Jasper to finally pull herself upwards once more.

With a strength she didn’t even know she had, Jasper fought against the new bout of nausea that hit her, upon standing upright, somehow managing to remain where she was- and not end up in a heap on the ground. The moment of respite she gained when she closed her eyes briefly, in an effort to restore some clarity to her vision, was one she wished she could savor. But one that she was forced to end, mentally dragging her eyes open once more. Her seconds spent in the darkness gave Jasper the slightest form of relief, for she was able to see without static for a precious moment, one she was able to stretch out long enough to run a shaking hand through her hair- with the mirror to guide her. It would seem silly to most, to spend time on even the most basic vanity, in her situation, but there was something therapeutic about running her fingers through her hair. 

The motion seemed to ground her, and Jasper latched onto it after that realization, allowing some of her focus to drift towards it. When her trembling hand returned to her clean, save for the gaudy shimmer of the chemical, she allowed a sense of relief to run through her system, as it would likely be the last one she truly felt. The hours ahead were only going to be worse than the ones before them, after all.

Gradually turning, feeling her face contort in response to the static returning to her vision, Jasper reached out to steady herself on the closest wall, leaning as much of her weight into it as she could, without slipping down. With the solid surface to guide her, she moved towards the partially open door, and the sounds coming from the other side of the room. Which felt more like a cell, given that they were now closed in and confined to the small space. Just as she was pushing the door open, gripping the handle tight enough to draw out the whites from her knuckles, Jasper felt her body betray her once more. With an even stronger wave than before, every ounce of strength left within abruptly departed- the numb weakness spreading rapidly through her veins. It was even more terrifying than the time before it, as she truly had no control over its effects. 

There wasn’t even anything for her to grip onto properly, Jasper soon realized. 

_ Realized not soon **enough** , in fact- her strong grip finally failed her in tandem with her knees giving out. _

“Jasper!” Ethan’s voice broke through the encroaching darkness. “Damn it- let me in!”

“You know we can’t let you do that, sir.” an unfamiliar voice responded.

“Ethan.” Jasper croaked out as her knees clashed with the floor, hand slipping from the door handle. “I’ll be-”

She never got the chance to finish her sentence, or bear witness to the aftermath of her own interruption. She didn’t get to see how gun-toting men clothed in layers of pitch-black gear had to physically hold Ethan back. Nor how those around them reacted to seeing the normally stoic, perfectly composed Doctor damn near losing it…

_ Because the darkness she’d been trying to desperately to avoid… _

**_Finally claimed her._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fan thing is real. I looked up treatments you could use for shortness of breath at home, and this is a real thing. It doesn't work well/if at all if you have an underlying condition when you get shortness of breath, but it's a real thing. 
> 
> And I won’t apologise for the use of Rookie. It has a special place in my heart, alright?
> 
> If you guys want to see some stuff from the other characters point of view, let me know. I feel like we could see some cool banter from Tobias and Ethan, given how they temporarily forgot about their little feud in order to save lives. 
> 
> I also plan on doing an alternate ending where things don’t go so well for MC. But that will come after the main fic is done.
> 
> Will Danny survive? Will the Senator make it?
> 
> Guess you’ll all have to wait for the rest of the fic to find out.


	3. Losing Composure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wasn’t exactly proud of the uncharacteristic stream of expletives that exited his mouth, but in that moment, he couldn’t bring himself to care.
> 
> Losing composure through his words was the very least of his concerns.
> 
> (Ethan's P.O.V - Part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally going to be part of one long chapter, but given that I did multiple character viewpoints, I figured it'd be easier for you guys to read if I split it all into shorter chapters. So here we are.
> 
> As a way to bridge the gap between Jasper passing out and waking up, I explored some of the alternate views of the chapter that we didn't necessarily see as much of as I would have liked. Ethan was actually requested, so that works out well.
> 
> This is named Part 1 of Ethan's view because I intend to utilise his perspective again in the fic. If I use the other characters more than once, I will edit the chapter titles accordingly.
> 
> Warnings for general medical stuff and mentions of swearing. Because that's his Rookie stuck in there. And another warning because its 2am and I am too tired to proofread.
> 
> And brief references to sexual encounters. Very tame stuff, but I'm just going to be careful with the warnings.

When Jasper stumbled into the bathroom, ignoring his loud protests, vanishing from his sight, Ethan felt his heart skip more metaphorical beats than he was comfortable with, chest aching in the aftermath. Yes, he hadn’t had the perfect view of her before, but he could see enough to know that she was still conscious. And, more importantly than that, still  _ breathing.  _ Which was a positive he had to focus on. Because the idea that she had thrown herself into the line of fire, into the very same chemical which had already ended Bobby’s life and damn near claimed Dannys, was utterly terrifying. More than he would ever admit, as he’d come to care for her in a way he’d never truly felt before. He had those of his family he cared about, of course- he wasn’t as heartless as a number of interns would insinuate. 

And he’d certainly been  _ with  _ someone before. His seemingly endless feud with Tobias was a testament to that. 

But even then, Ethan couldn’t recall feeling the way he did now about Jasper. He’d known there was something about her, when he encountered her on her first day at Edenbrook. Because despite the fact she’d barely stepped over the threshold, she reigned in her nerves, retaining her composure to assist him in saving a life. Which was to say nothing of the countless people she’d helped thus far. Even the ones she ultimately hadn’t been able to save. She thought about her patients the way any Doctor worth his degree should, going beyond what they needed physically to ensure they got what they needed to support themselves mentally. Jasper had gone above and beyond the call of the career she had chosen on so many occasions, even when it put said career at risk of early termination.

Which was to say nothing about what he’d felt for her beyond the professional aspect of respect and admiration. About how a breath had caught in his throat when he laid eyes on her for the first time, waist-length waves of fiery red hair almost glowing in the early morning sun, hazel eyes shining amidst a frame of freckle clusters. That such a stunning face was now matched to the spotless academic and personal record that had stood out enough for him to personally select for a residency at Edenbrook. How she’d stolen his breath so many times since. Like when they’d attended the convention together, and she’d walked out in the floor-length dress that damn near sparkled like stars in the light of their room, fabric clinging to her body in ways that threatened to draw his focus from the entire reason behind their visit. 

_ When those locks of flaming hair had been arranged into an almost impossibly neat bun, a few choice strands framing a smiling face he knew was locked into his memory. _

Moments which almost paled in comparison to the ones that followed. Namely, how they’d both ignored any shred of common sense in order to give into their desires, and make out like lovesick teenagers on their hotel room’s balcony. A scene which seemed innately chaste, when held up against others that stuck firmly in his mind. Like the briefest time when he was no longer her superior, and they’d used that to make up for all the time they’d lost in pushing one another away for the sake of one another’s careers. How they’d almost scattered everything off of the kitchen island, before stumbling into each other’s arms in bed, and he’d had the unimaginable gift of seeing her fall apart under his touch. Of discovering the face of when she was overcome with pleasure, and the impossibly sweet expression she made afterwards, when they were content in one another’s arms. 

_ When she’d brushed a gentle hand down his face with a tenderness he wasn’t sure if he truly deserved. _

Or how she’d left her own post-hearing victory celebration to bring him back to her own room, just so they could steal a few more moments together in the way they desired to be, before Ethan returned to Edenbrook. Before they found themselves in the same agonising situation as they had been for the better part of a year, where he was her boss and they couldn’t so much as hold hands in view of others. Where even moments alone couldn’t be savored in the way they deserved to be, for fear of someone walking into whichever room or office they’d ducked into, and discovering that their relationship went far beyond professional boundaries. Whatever their relationship truly was- they’d not yet had the luxury of defining what exactly they were to one another. Something Ethan could only hope they’d be able to rectify soon.  Because, even if they had to hide the nature of their feelings for one another, that was a question he no longer desired to leave unanswered. 

The squeak of a door drew Ethan’s attention, wrenching him out of the many memories of Jasper he now treasured. It brought him back into the world around him, immediately hitting him with a sense of shame. For he’d allowed his mind to wander, selfishly dwelling on tender moments of the past when Jasper needed him in the here and now. 

_ Not that he could do much from where he was, which was agonising in and of itself. _

Yes, the situation was already out of his control, but seeing Jasper emerge from the bathroom, still breathing, gave him just the barest amount of composure he needed to stay grounded. Something which he needed to focus on if he were to be of any use. Of course, there was definitely a part of him...several parts, in fact, that wanted to forgo all sense of right and reason, and fling the door open to rush to her side- but those were quickly dampened down by his thankfully present common sense. He couldn’t risk any of the chemical getting out into the rest of the hospital, whether it was truly airborne or contact-dependent, because not only would falling prey to it mean he couldn’t help Jasper...but it would also place every vulnerable life in that hospital at risk. And that, despite his personal feelings, was something Ethan knew he couldn’t let happen. No matter how much the idea of being separated from her pained him. If pained was even an adequate description for the agony causing pulses in his chest. 

All those thoughts, and so many more, faded into a building static along with his resolve, when he properly  _ looked  _ at Jasper. Not just focusing on her simply being alive, but truly looking at her. What he saw, as he stepped as close to the window as he could, threatened to shatter Ethan’s already fractured, agonized heart. Any colour Jasper had left in her face before she went into the bathroom was now gone, leaving her deathly pale- skin a sickly milky white. Sweat visibly beaded on her brow beneath the sparkling sheen of chemical that coated her skin and drenched her hair, coupled with a tremble running through her that was visible even from where he stood. Before he could even speak up, or alert Rafael to Jasper’s fragile state, he felt the world seem to slow down around them. Seconds ticked by painfully slow, as her knees began to buckle- and her dazed eyes desperately searched for him...only for it all to come rushing back when a thundering of footsteps echoed up the hallway.

Though doing so took damn near all of the wavering resolve he had left, Ethan turned in the direction of the commotion, breath nearly knocked out of him in relief when he took in the sight before him. Something he knew he wouldn’t soon forget- a bustling group of CDC scientists, identifiable by the eerie white, gas-tight hazmat suits and the carts of equipment being dragged behind them. An array of objects and machines that, on any other occasion, Ethan would be clamoring to examine and experiment with. Beyond the oddly organized chaos, bringing up the rear with some splitting off to start cordoning off the floor, were a dozen men and women, clothed in ominously dark tactical gear, rushed up, wielding the types of guns Ethan had only ever seen in movies or television shows. They kept a decent distance from the room, with only one venturing closer alongside the scientists, likely the head of the team...sent to confirm the Senator’s current status. 

“Sir.” one of the scientists stepped closer to Ethan, eyes narrowed, expression wary. “Have you had contact with any of the people inside that room?”

“No, I haven’t.” Ethan willed his voice not to show the fear gripping his heart. “Alright.” the scientist seemed to ease up slightly. “Were they able to contain the situation? We didn’t get much when your security called this in.”

“I believe so. They sealed off the room- managed to block the air vent and prevent any airborne chemical from getting through to our ventilation system.” Ethan answered.

“Considering the situation they’re under, it’s impressive they were able to seal themselves off so quickly.” the scientist nodded. “Who am I speaking to?”

“Dr Ethan Ramsey. I’m the head of our diagnostics team.” 

“Wish it were under better circumstances, Dr Ramsey, but it’s good to meet you. My name is-”

When the scientist’s words tailed off, breaking the end of their sentence in tandem with their eyes wandering to the window, Ethan followed them. His eyes wandered, heart rushing a deafening beat in his chest, before locking onto Jasper; whose body seemed to be trembling far more than before, if that were even possible. Sweat was now running trails through the oily chemical, dragging it down over her shimmering skin, the chemical’s ominous sheen almost iridescent in the hospital’s harsh lights. 

Just as he was stepping closer to the window, ignoring the scientist calling his name, Ethan felt his fractured heart stop- as Jasper’s knees finally gave out from under her. They connected with the ground in a sickening crack, drawing the attention of not only the other scientists, but Rafael as well. His entire body stiffened, eyes widening as he craned his neck to look over the hospital bed, and in her direction. The former paramedic knew just as well as Ethan, what that stomach-churning noise meant. Because she was too weak to hold herself up properly, Jasper’s fall had drawn her full weight to her already trembling knees- with enough force that they were fractured at best. Broken, at worst- people had done themselves worse injuries from shorter heights, after all. And Ethan had heard the sound of bones breaking more than any one person should, especially in the earlier days of his career.

“Jasper!” Ethan called out amidst his spiralling thoughts, not caring in the moment how he’d neglected to use her professional title, any sense of resolve crumbling- as he rushed to the door.

Only to have the scientist who’d addressed him, and another still, stop him- each taking an arm in an attempt to pull him back, a harsh reminder of how little control Ethan had over the situation. He knew the way he was acting was a dead giveaway that his feelings for Jasper went above and beyond professional boundaries, because a simple boss, or friend, wouldn’t be near tears and close to fighting armed guards. Ethan also knew that what he was doing was ultimately selfish, but he knew of no one who could retain their composure in his situation. When the woman he loved was trapped agonisingly close, collapsing under the effects of a chemical that could very well likely kill her, tremors claiming her body, luring her dangerously close to a seizure. With possible broken bones, and a body rapidly turning against them. Who had no one in there to help her, because if Rafael dared move, the lack of a sufficient air supply could claim the life of another of Travis’ victims in Danny. Which was evidently almost as agonising for the both of them, if the tears running down their faces and trembling shoulders were anything to go by. The former paramedics’ arms were even shaking, from the effort of holding in his cries.

“Damn it-” Ethan tried to break free of the scientists grip. “Let me in!”

“You know we can’t do that, sir.” the armed guard who’d dared to venture close spoke up, tone stern and grave.

“Ethan-” Jasper croaked out, drawing his attention, as her hand slipped from the door handle. “I’ll be-”

His fractured heart finally shattered into a thousand pieces, when she collapsed entirely, disappearing from view behind the hospital bed with a sickening thump, head cracking against the hardened floor- which was even more nauseating than the sounds her weakened knees had made. It sent palpable pains through his chest, being something that Ethan knew would haunt his nightmares for weeks to come- the sight of her eyes rolling into the back of her head brought him far closer to losing control over his body than he’d ever admit. 

Ethan had seen countless people collapse throughout his career of course, far too many to even think of counting, but it was something else entirely when the person falling apart was someone he’d come to love. 

_ More than, he realised, anyone else he’d ever been with.  _

“I have to-” Ethan continued to struggle.

“I’d advise against that.” the armed guard’s grip on their rifle tightened. 

_ He wasn’t exactly proud of the uncharacteristic stream of expletives that exited his mouth, but in that moment, he couldn’t bring himself to care. _

**_Losing composure through his words was the very least of his concerns._ ** ********

“You know we can’t let you in there without the proper precautions, Dr Ramsey.” the scientist from before tried to reason with him.

“She’s-” Ethan’s eyes darted between the scientist and the guard.

“I can’t imagine how you must feel.” the scientist interrupted. “It’s clear you care a great deal for-”

“You have no idea-” Ethan interjected.

“Which is why you have to stand aside.” the scientist ignored him, grip on his arm tightening. “We can’t start to help unless you do that.”

Those words were what finally convinced Ethan to stand down, body tense as he stepped away, free of their grip. As he swallowed hard, both in an effort to contain his nausea, and hold back the tears he knew were at risk of rolling down his face. 

He still wanted nothing more than to rush into that room, because in that moment…

In that moment…

_ In that moment… _

_ Oh god... _

**_He didn’t even know if Jasper was still alive._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we have it! The first part of Ethan's perspective of events. I hope you guys enjoyed it, and that my favourite Doctor was in character.


	4. Unexpected Interruption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She couldn’t afford to think of what might have happened, because the endless possibilities would only make the entire situation all the more agonising. 
> 
> She couldn’t afford to fall apart. Not when her friends needed her.
> 
> Not when Jasper needed her.
> 
> (Jackie's P.O.V)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be part of one long chapter, but it kind of made sense to be its own short update. Figured it'd be easier for you all to read!
> 
> In this chapter, I tackle Jackie's P.O.V as the events of Chapter 11 kick off. We also see/hear some reactions from Elijah, Sienna, and Aurora!
> 
> I don't know proper procedure for events like the ones shown, so I kinda just winged it. Creative licensing, am I right? :D
> 
> Warning for use of bad language. Like, a lot of it. 
> 
> Enjoy- at least, I hope you enjoy, as it's 2:30 am and I was too tired to proofread properly :)

Fucking  _ finally.  _ It had been one hell of a morning, with each patient somehow more infuriating than the rest, but she’d gotten through it. Albeit by gritting her teeth and muttering impressive streams of expletives under her breath, but still, she’d done it. And finally, it was time for her lunch break. Even though fourty-five minutes was still too short in her professional opinion, it was still better than the barebones twenty she’d gotten through med school. And Gary had wandered off to some sushi bar downtown with the other interns- meaning that she would get fourty-five minutes of peace and quiet. 

Or, as much as she could, in the crowded cafeteria. But even that, at the end, was preferable to the patients she’d dealt with so far. There was the aggressive older man, who only seemed to bristle further when she walked in the room, eyes burning their gaze into her soul. Whether from the fact she was a woman, or because she happened to have a different skin tone from the nurse assisting her, Jackie never found out. Because the guy at least had the sense not to talk shit to the people trying to help him. Something that the woman before him could have learned from- she hadn’t had any specific reason for her behaviour. She was just a straight-up asshole, taking every spare moment to remind them all who she was, as if the fact she was some rich prick’s wife meant anything to them. Well, it likely meant something to the hospital, but it didn’t mean anything to Jackie. This wasn’t the first entitled ass she’d dealt with, and it definitely wouldn’t be the last. 

No. She wasn’t going to think about them anymore. At least, for the time being- no one’s condition had been critical, and that hadn’t had signs of changing anytime soon. Which meant she could do what she came to do- eat somewhere as close to peace as she could get. Jackie didn’t know if her aching feet could handle the long haul to the closest staff dorm, and the trek there would have taken up too much of her time for it to be worthwhile. So she had to make do, sitting in a secluded corner of the bustling cafeteria, ready to savour her tray of food like it was a damn five course meal. 

Because quiet lunch breaks were rare to find, Jackie mused, as she scrolled through her phone whilst munching her way through a surprisingly well cooked slice of pizza. Which wasn’t exactly healthy, but anyone wanting to criticise her eating choices could bite her ass. She was two-thirds of the way through a 16 hour shift, so she’d more than earned her share. 

Unfortunately, the second she reached for a second slice, chuckling at some dumb cat video pinging on her social media timeline, Jackie found her relative peace interrupted. A notification popped up on her pager, drawing her focus away. At first half glancing at her phone, she soon focused entirely on the message bleeping across the dated screen. It was telling her, and likely every member of staff, that there had been a security breach in Senator Farrugia’s hospital room. That everyone was to stay away for the time being, and more information would become available in the next few moments.

Though that piece of information was woefully short, it was enough to send Jackie to her feet, rapidly scrolling through her list of contacts on her phone- until she got to the circle of friends she’d built in Edenbrook. Until she got to Jasper. Though she had a fear lingering in the back of her mind that her friend was caught up in all of...whatever was going on, Jackie held onto what hope she had that Jasper would pick up. That she’d gone to check on the Senator’s bloodwork, and been far away from the shit that had gone down. 

Only to have that hope dashed, when the call went straight to voicemail. Her friend’s eternally cheerful voice echoing in her head had never heard so eerie before, and it was enough to make Jackie pick up the pace, running through the hospital’s busy halls. Staff and visitors alike dodged out of her way, the same way she dodged oncoming trolleys and gurneys- desperately going to the top of her friends list. Just as she was about to hit the button, and initiate the call, Jackie paused- stepping into an alcove as she did so. She had to take a moment to catch her breath, because she knew she’d need everything she had for the next few moments. Calling the other members of the Edenbrook crew was easy enough, as they’d have gotten the same pager message Jackie had, but Aurora was halfway across the city at Mass Kenmore. How was she even supposed to start the conversation, especially when she only knew what she’d seen in a few lines of pixelated text?

“Shit.” Jackie took a moment to compose herself, before hitting dial.

“Jackie?” Aurora picked up, surprisingly quickly- barely past the first two beeps.

“That was fast.”

“I’m nearly done with my lunch break, I don’t suppose this could wait-”

“It can’t.”

“Did something happen. Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. Well, kind of. Might be close to losing my shit.”

“Jackie?”

“It’s Jasper.”

“What-”

“Just got a message through on my pager. Whole damn hospital did. There was some kind of security breach in the Senator’s room...and now the whole floor is off limits.”

“Do we know if Jasper was in there? Is she picking up her phone”

“No. And no. We just know something happened, and she isn’t picking up. I know this conversation is kind of a mess, but I figured you should know.”

“It’s fine. I...appreciate the call.”

“Call you back when I know more?”

“Please. But...I’m going to try and switch my afternoon shift, see if I can get over there.”

“Ok. I’m sorry to dump this on you and leave but-”

“You’ve got to find the others. And...find out what happened with Jasper. I understand.”

“Guess I might see you soon?”

“I can be very persuasive. I  _ will  _ see you soon.”

Chuckling slightly despite it all, Jackie ended the call, giving herself a few more seconds to catch her breath before going to the next name on the list. Bryce was up, but she soon realised couldn’t call him. Even though she wanted to. He would be almost literally neck-deep in Kyra’s surgery, and even if he could get a senior surgeon to fill in, that would take time. Which meant all he’d have to go on until he could get out, was that woefully short pager message. It was for those same reasons that she couldn’t go to talk to him in person- any interruption or distraction could prove fatal. And whilst she’d heard a hell of a lot about Bryce’s focus and endurance, Jackie knew him well enough that it would waver this one time. 

Because it wasn’t just some random person or patient they were talking about. It was  _ Jasper.  _

One of their closest friends, who had become a welcome fixture in their lives since their very first day at Edenbrook. 

After taking a moment to appreciate how agonising it would be for Bryce, to try and operate on one friend, whilst worrying over another, Jackie moved on to the next name. Elijah. If the guy wasn’t too busy covering for his panicking intern, something she still meant to grill him over, he would answer pretty quickly. You could miss a phone vibrating or even a ring, especially if you were with a patient, but the aged sound of a pager alerting you to its newest message couldn’t be missed. Which would mean he’d have seen it the same time Jackie did. The same time everyone else did, and he’d probably be reaching for his phone right that second. Something that was confirmed when the guy spoke up before she even got a chance.

“Jackie? Did you see that-” Elijah started.

“Pretty sure everyone saw that message.” Jackie willed her voice not to tremble.

“Do we know if Jasper was in there?” 

“No. But...she’s not picking up her phone.”

“Shit. maybe she was with another patient?”

“Pretty sure the hospital’s got her focusing on the Senator. He’s probably the highest paying patient we have. Plus there’s the whole, you know,  _ Senator  _ gig.”

“So she was _probably_ in there.”

“Probably.”

“Oh man…”

“I just rang Aurora. She’s going to try and get over here. But Bryce-”

“Is with Kyra. shit. He’ll know even less than we do!”

“I know. And we can’t go over there.”

“We can’t distract him. I know.”

“I’m going to try Sienna next. Then I’m heading up there.”   


“Thought it was-”

“Off limits? Yeah, it is. But I figured we have a better chance of knowing what happened, if we get close.”

“Right, right. Meet you there?”

“Yeah. I’ll grab Sienna. Pretty sure I- oh. Shit. She’s actually trying to call me right now.”

“Then I’ll hang up. This is...not how I thought today was gonna go.”

“You and me both.”

The second that Elijah hung up, her phone switched over to Sienna’s call in record time, giving Jackie the reassurance that the absurd amount of money she’d splurged on this phone wasn't a waste. But even the highest level of technology couldn’t get past how fast the woman spoke. She was kind of erratic at the moment, given the useless asshole of an intern she’d been lumped with, so her nerves would be at an all time high with the pager message flashing through her brain. Jackie was feeling the building tension of the situation, and she wasn’t normally affected- she’d learned how to direct all her focus into her work. So things didn’t often phase her. But this was definitely getting to her, so it would be scaling Sienna’s nerves up tenfold.

“Jackie, I got this- did you get-” Sienna started, sounding about as panicked as Jackie was beginning to feel. 

“I got the message, Sienna.” Jackie tried to reassure her friend, with what she hoped was a calming tone.

“Of course...of course you did. Have you been able to call Jasper? She isn’t answering her phone!”

“She didn’t answer me either.”

“So...she’s probably up there, right? Senator Farrugia  _ is  _ her patient.”

“Probably.”

“Oh god.”

“Look, if she’d been hurt, they’d have probably mentioned a member of staff was-”

Just as she was getting ahead of the conversation to curb her friend’s worries, Jackie was abruptly cut off, by the sound of her pager going off again. The thing’s alert sound was so damn loud that she could hear Sienna’s go off on the other end of the line. Which meant the two of them would be reading the new message at the same time, focusing on every last word, even more attention than they’d paid to the alert preceding it. 

_ UPDATE: 3 MEMBERS OF STAFF, AND 1 CIVILIAN, HAVE BEEN AFFECTED BY THE SECURITY BREACH. _

“Jackie?” Sienna spoke quietly, emotion heavy in her tone.

“I’m here...shit.” Jackie cursed when another message hit.

_ WE HAVE CONFIRMATION THAT A CHEMICAL AGENT WAS RELEASED.  _

_ THE RELEVANT AUTHORITIES HAVE BEEN NOTIFIED AND ARE EN ROUTE.  _

“No, no...no-” Sienna started.

“Sienna-” Jackie tried speaking up, only to be interrupted once more.

_ INCIDENT CONTAINED TO ONE ROOM. YOU ARE ALL SAFE.  _

_ MULTIPLE PATIENTS TO BE RELOCATED.  _

_ MEMBERS OF STAFF AFFECTED BY THESE CHANGES WILL BE NOTIFIED PRIVATELY. _

“There’s more?” Sienna drew in a shaky breath.

“Jesus christ- Jackie stared at her pager.

**_ONLY_ ** _ AUTHORISED MEMBERS ARE NOW PERMITTED TO THE AFFECTED FLOOR, WHICH IS NOW OFFICIALLY OFF-LIMITS TO UNAUTHORISED STAFF.  _

_ NO IMMEDIATE DANGER HAS BEEN REPORTED FOR THE REST OF OUR STAFF AND PATIENTS.  _

“That’s something, right? We’re not in danger?” Sienna tried gripping onto a fragment of hope.

“No. But Jasper is. She’ll be one of the staff affected...shit.” Jackie blinked away tears.

**_NO OTHER INFORMATION IS ALLOWED TO BE SHARED AT THIS TIME._ **

_ WE ASK THAT EVERYONE ELSE REMAIN CALM AND RESUME CURRENT ASSIGNMENTS. _

“Bullshit. We deserve to know more.” Jackie turned back to her phone.

“They can’t say too much. People would panic.” Sienna tried reasoning, oncoming sobs barely masked by her tone.

“Pretty sure people are already panicking. Not giving us more just makes people think shit and spread it.”

“You’re...not wrong.”

“I know only ‘authorised’ members of staff are allowed up there, but I’m going to try and get close.”

“I’ll be there. Mitch can do some work for once in his life.”

“Need any help?”

“No. Not this time. I don’t normally want to risk causing a scene...but Jasper will need us. Is Bryce-”

“Still in surgery.”

“Oh...what about-”

“Elijah’s on his way up. Aurora’s going to try and get over here.”

“So...I’ll see you up there?”

“Yeah. See you...see you there.”

When she reluctantly hung up, Jackie leant back against the wall, head tilting back as her eyes slipped shut. If she’d thought she was stressed before, during that hellscape of a morning, it was nothing compared to what she was now feeling. There were unimaginable levels of stress, but even those paled when held up against the myriad of other emotions she was experiencing. Like the terror coursing through her veins, fueled by concern for her friend, and the unknown from a lack of information. For not knowing if her friend had been hurt, when they were caught in the crossfire of the security breach. Then there was the gut-wrenching nausea, at the thought of  _ how  _ Jasper could have been affected. Had she ingested something? And was that the reason for the entire floor becoming off limits? 

Or...shit...had she been fucking  _ shot?  _ Had someone managed to sneak a gun past the ever watchful eyes of Bobby?  _ Bobby.  _ Jackie’s heart fractured further at the reminder that their faithful security would have been with Jasper. He’d have been the one to call the authorities, most likely. 

A new fear surfaced that he could have been hurt as well, and would miss his daughter’s birthday, that he’d been so excited for, that every member of staff passing through Edenbrook’s doors knew of the upcoming event. Had he been shot? Were they both up there, bleeding out behind cold barriers and containment?

Though her thoughts threatened to spiral down that dark path, Jackie forced her exhausted mind to work, somehow managing to redirect her focus away from them. With her focus fully restored, or as restored as it could be under the circumstances, she resumed her mad dash through the hospital. 

She couldn’t afford to think of what might have happened, because the endless possibilities would only make the entire situation all the more agonising. 

She couldn’t afford to fall apart. Not when her friends needed her.

Not when  _ Jasper  _ needed her.

Jasper. Someone Jackie had become honoured to call a friend. They’d hit it off the second they met in that changing room all those months ago, flirting like they’d known each other for...well.forever. How the flirting had so easily shifted into genuine conversation, smiles replacing coy expressions in a way that took Jackie’s breath away. She’d felt at ease with Jasper, even in their first few minutes of knowing one another. 

There was something about her that would make anyone smile, feel at ease. Jasper’s smile definitely contributed to that, as it was definitely the best-looking smile she’d ever seen. Freckles framed emerald eyes that seemed to shine even in the dim nights when they stumbled back into the apartment after a long shift, picturesque smile enough to warm even the most stoic of hearts. The bridge of her nose would crinkle slightly when said smile stretched in laughter, cheeks almost dimpling. 

And that was just her smile. That was just one, wonderful part of what made Jasper...Jasper. One of many things that made Jasper the best friend Jackie had ever had the chance to get to know. She’d been there for an outrageously good time, and had stuck around for the worst of those, arms reaching around Jackie during times she felt alone despite their crowded apartment. Words that spoke of a kind of wisdom beyond her years, which somehow seemed to form just what she needed to hear. A voice that was kind, and not in the false way some people had tried to sway her with. No, a voice that was genuine. As genuine as her smile and the way she treated everyone around her with kindness, even though some definitely didn’t deserve it.

Jasper. Who’d stayed when she had every right to turn away, as her own problems had certainly stacked up, when Jackie’s check bounced. Jasper, who had stayed right where she was when she got caught in the crossfire of Farley’s anger. Who had ignored Jackie’s self-deprecating shit and gotten her together, going above and beyond to find a way to solve the problem before Jackie herself had even really gotten to grips with it. A problem resolution that she stuck with, seeing her through that first night of babysitting, helping to break the ice and start an odd friendship with their young charge. 

Then there was the entire mess of a situation with Declan, and Pancea Labs. Yeah, their group of friends had more than done their fair share to help her, risking their careers and using up vacation days to travel up to Vegas. But Jasper had been the one to somehow go the extra mile beyond all of that, heading up to the damn CEO with a determination and confidence that gave Jackie chills to see. She’d been the one to work her magic with Charlotte St. Yves, charming her way into a confession that had toppled the empire the parasitic company had become. 

_ Jasper, who had risked her entire goddamn career to save friends and patients alike.  _

_ Who was someone Jackie was fucking proud to know… _

_ Let alone call a  _ **_friend._ **

With the image of her friend firmly fixed in her mind, Jackie ran faster than she ever had before, people almost diving to get out of her way- with her dodging those that were too slow to react. She couldn’t think of the people she’d bumped into, or the few trays or carts she’d disrupted on her war path. There would be time for apologies and explanations later, when she knew what had happened to her friend. When she knew. Jackie knew she and the others would likely be turned away the second they showed up on the affected floor, but they were damn sure going to try. She knew none of them were going to be pushed aside without a fight. 

Neglecting the slow elevators at the end of the hall, she climbed up the near endless flights of stairs, hopping up two at a time when her exhausted and cramping legs would allow her. She was definitely going to feel the effects of the impromptu cardio in the morning, but Jackie resolved to just grin and bear it. The discomfort she felt was secondary, after all, to what she knew her friend would be going through. The idea of that level of pain and discomfort being inflicted on Jasper only served to spur Jackie on, giving her the boost she needed to carry on upwards. Even though the further up she got, the more she could see the remnants of chaos starting to flood through the hospital’s halls. 

Doctors and janitors alike had formed clusters at their work stations, glued to their pagers amidst conversations framed by expressions of fear. People rushing around with armfuls of files and paperwork, their patients affected by whatever had transpired around the Senator. Even the patients seemed to have caught on, some ducking out of their rooms to talk to the closest aide. And this was only on the barest slither of information. Jackie shuddered to think at what was going to happen when they got the full story. If they got the full story, what with all the layers of security any information would have to get through.

With a kaleidoscope of thoughts running through her mind, some threatening to break through her mental barrier and pull at her fractured heart, Jackie finally got to the affected floor. It was on the other end of the Senator’s room, but it was closer than she imagined she’d get. But any hope given to her when she went through the last door, sighting her friends, was cruelly ripped away when she looked beyond them. Throughout the hall, doctors were rushing about, patients on gurneys looking around in visible panic and confusion. Doctors and patients who were being escorted by men in all-black, SWAT level gear that looked like something out of an action movie. Men with rifles, who somehow seemed less intimidating than the people in white fucking  _ hazmat  _ suits who were. 

Until she saw that a trio of them were pointing said rifles at her friends, that is.

“This floor is off limits!” one barked out in a harsh tone.

“I know, we just-” Elijah started.

“We are cordoning off this floor. You need to leave, now.” one of the other rifle-wielders spoke up.

“But our friend-” Sienna slowly raised her hands up, visibly trembling.

“I don’t care who you are to the people here. You need to leave.” the last man to speak stepped forward.

“Just tell us-” Jackie stepped forward.

“Stay back!” the first one angled his gun in her direction.

Which was definitely going to be in her nightmares tonight.

If she was going to _get_ any sleep tonight, that is.

**Fuck.**

“We just-” Sienna’s head turned. “Dr Ramsey!”

Turning her gaze in the same direction as her friend, Jackie soon laid eyes upon the aforementioned Doctor. He was currently speaking with more menacing armed guards, surrounded by a cluster of the specialists in hazmat suits. His skin was so pale the light was almost reflecting off of him, and the man’s expression was something Jackie had never seen on him before. Dr Ramsey, the man as famous for his stoic and cold demeanor as he was for his medical talents, was fucking  _ panicked.  _

No, what he was projecting was more than just panic. 

It was fear, and maybe even  _ despair.  _

Jackie’s heart sunk at the realization. Because, try as they might to hide whatever it was that was going on between him and Jasper, nothing changed in the way they looked at one another when they thought no one was looking. How stars almost fucking shone in their eyes, mouths twitching upwards in the ghost of a smile. The fact that someone who evidently cared far more for Jasper than was expected of a boss, one famous for his composure, now looked like he’d had his fucking heart broken...gave Jackie more fear than the rifle pointed at her face.

“Dr Ramsey” Jackie called out, louder than Sienna.

When the man turned to face them, she thought for a moment that he’d ignore them, turning his focus back onto the matter at hand. She wouldn’t exactly be able to fault him for that. But it didn’t mean she wouldn’t hold it against him, either, as ultimately unreasonable as that was. Because beyond the window he kept looking backwards and forwards from, was Jackie’s closest friend. Of course she cared about everyone in her friendship circle...but the relationship she had with Jasper had always felt like something more. Almost like she was a sister, in some ways. There were precious few people Jackie trusted in the way that she trusted the group’s resident redhead. And she’d been there for each and every one of them. So they were going to be there for her now. That gave Jackie the push she needed to ignore the danger, and speak up.

“Dr Ramsey, please.” Jackie took a moment to gather herself, emotions close to overwhelming- before continuing. “Is Jasper-”

Noticing the three rifles aimed their way, Dr Ramsey tore his gaze away from the window, something Jackie didn’t know if she’d have the strength to do, (which only made her admire the man more) and approached them. Ignoring the numerous people calling after him, he closed the distance between himself and the group in record time. It was likely more due to the fact he didn’t want to be away from Jasper for too long, but his fast response to their presence was definitely welcomed. Jackie could see from the way Elijah was wringing his wrists, and the way Sienna was nervously shifting her weight between both feet, told her that they were just as on edge as she was. Because they didn’t know what had happened, or who exactly the incident had happened  _ to. _

But the fact that Dr Ramsey didn’t even seem to have it in him when he finally stood before them, to adopt his normally stoic expression, spoke a thousand silent words. Told Jackie he was feeling just as, if not more so than them, the desperation of it all. Which was one more piece of fuel to add to the fire of terror building in her mind.

“Jasper?” Sienna spoke quietly, softening expression letting on that she’d noticed what Jackie had.

That the infamous Ethan Ramsey seemed a hair's breadth away from falling apart.

_ Right in front of them. _

“She...was in the room with the Senator.” Dr Ramsey took a deep breath. 

“Dr Ramsey, we cannot let-” one of the rifle wielding men turned to him.

“They are friends of the people in that room.” Dr Ramsey interrupted, voice somehow remaining cold as steel beneath his wrought expression. 

“I’m sure, but-” the man tried again.

“Either you waste time attempting to push them away, or you let me tell them what they need to know.” Dr Ramsey spoke over the guy once more.

“You’ve got 5 minutes. Then we’re clearing them out.” the man took a few steps back, gesturing for his comrades to do the same.

“Th...thank you.” Elijah looked up at the Doctor in awe.

“You’re Jasper’s friends. I doubt if those men put together could stop you from getting to her.” Dr Ramsey smiled slightly, another rare expression.

_ At least, rare when Jasper wasn’t around. _

_ The two of them **definitely** had  _ _**something** _ _ going on. _

_ But that wasn’t what mattered in that moment. _

What mattered, was finding out just how this impossibly insane situation had transpired.

“So…” Jackie took another deep breath. “What happened?”

“We might need longer than those five minutes.” Dr Ramsey admitted.

_ Oh.  _

**_Oh_ ** **_fuck_ ** **_._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's Jackie. I may return to her in the future, but for now her P.O.V is one chapter. Hopefully you all enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed working on it.
> 
> How did I do in terms of characterization? Let me know!


	5. Powerless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Focusing through the complex of bars and wheels beneath the hospital bed, he could see those familiar locks of flaming red hair. 
> 
> But the sight of those didn’t give him the relief he hoped. 
> 
> (Rafael's P.O.V)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final section of what WAS going to be one long chapter, but instead made better sense as it's own short update.
> 
> Rafael's P.O.V is what I tackle this time around, and I had a lot of fun writing it! He's one of my favourite characters besides Ethan.
> 
> Warnings for mentions of general gross medical stuff. And the fact its close to 3 am now and I am too tired to proofread properly.

When he heard the bathroom door creak open, accompanied by the sound of Jasper stumbling inside, Rafael felt his heart skip a beat. The tension in the room was already so palpable in the air that it was growing increasingly difficult to keep his breath even. Despite that, he wanted nothing more than to jump to his feet, and rush to his friend’s side, but Rafael knew he couldn’t. Because whilst Danny was no longer in danger of choking to death, that could very well change the second he let his arms drop. They had no way of knowing yet, what exactly they’d been exposed to, so they didn’t know how long the effects would last for. Which meant he was forced to remain where he was, fighting back against the pain and exhaustion threatening to claim his raised arms, which were still holding up the fan with a strength Rafael didn’t even know he had. He’d done a lot of insanely risky things in his time as a Paramedic, but in those situations, he’d been gifted with an overabundance of confidence...and more adrenaline than one person should ever experience. 

But just sitting where he was made the whole situation seem that much more oppressive. He couldn’t move for fear of his friend’s health, and Rafael was beginning to wonder how much help he’d even be, if he could stand up. 

His legs were starting to shake in the same way as his arms, but he had no way of knowing if it was because he’d been sat in one position for so long, or if it was the effects of the chemical. Yes, thanks to Jasper, he’d been exposed to far less of it than her or Danny, but if it could kill Bobby so quickly...as well as make Travis and Jasper decline so rapidly...

Truly, he’d never felt so powerless, even though he was all that was between another of his friends, and them suffocating where they sat. Rafael soon realised his feelings were because, despite the fact he had any number of great friends both inside and outside of his familial community...none meant quite as much to him as Jasper did. Something had just clicked with them, when they met, like they were just  _ meant  _ to be friends. Their brief first meeting in the hallway had been all he needed to get an idea of who she was. She seemed to radiate warmth and kindness, with a smile that rarely left her face. They’d run through line after line of banter within moments of getting to know one another, and the jokes resulting from that only grew in depth and fondness the longer they spent together- and the more times they met outside of work. Jasper was definitely someone special, and whilst he’d known that from their first conversation, it had only been confirmed when he took her on that helicopter ride. When she spoke with him as if she’d known him for years, wearing a fond smile, mirrored by eyes that shone in the sunlight filtering through the helicopter’s windows. 

But even that was only a taste of what it was like to know Jasper, to be her _friend_. 

Because those moments up there in the sky stood secondary to when he’d gotten to take her out that time. To that bustling street market, hung with lanterns in every shape and colour, casting a warm light amidst strings of fairy lights tangled in the awnings of the endless array of food carts and market stalls- filling the area in a kaleidoscope of colours that had Jasper dazzled, if the awed expression on her face was anything to go by. Asides from the comforting beauty of the area, it was a space filled with laughter, and a sense of magic- bringing smiles to their own faces when they sat down at one of the tables protected by checkered tablecloths. How they’d spent hours sat there, talking, going through a good half of the menu, taking advantage of numerous offers and appetizers to taste as much as their stomachs ( _ and bank accounts _ ) would allow. 

Though the evening was entirely platonic, it easily surpassed any date he’d ever gone on. He just felt so at ease with her, comfortable in a way that words would never fully be able to express. There was just something about the way Jasper talked, the way her hands gestured wildly when mere words wouldn’t do her stories justice. Stories he was surprised by- some of her tales of late nights during med school were like something out of a soap opera. The kind his Vovo loved, for reasons Rafael would never really understand. Then there was how she would even stand up to emphasize a point, just laughing whenever it attracted attention from those nearby. Or the way she leaned in, expression earnest, listening to whatever Rafael had to say. In a way that wasn’t someone idly half listening, offering a simple head nod, but a way that told him she truly was listening. 

And, perhaps more importantly, that she _cared_.

Which was to speak nothing of the time he’d introduced her to his  _ Vovo,  _ a woman he would always treasure above all others. Someone Jasper had treated with the respect his wonderful grandmother deserved, smiling in a way that would soften any heart. The way she talked with her, as if they were old friends, was something Rafael was content to sit and watch. How she happily accepted every sugary treat that the woman pushed her way, complimenting every single one until his grandmother’s smile was impossibly soft. He’d just sat there contentedly, watching two of his favourite people talk as if they’d known each other all their lives. Until his Vovo had slyly pushed her and Rafael away, winking at him when Jasper’s back was turned, in a way that almost had him rolling his eyes. But even those moments were nothing when compared to how they’d ended up dancing in the moonlight. Moving with and around one another like no one was watching, even though the samba music was playing only in their heads. 

He’d come to treasure that night, more than he’d likely ever be able to say.

But one night made all the others before it pale in comparison. The night that the tunnel had collapsed, and he’d ignored every order and word sent his way, to go down to where it was dangerously unstable- so he could try and save another life. The night that had almost taken  _ his  _ life. He could remember going down there, and pulling someone from the rubble, only to have the cracked ceiling crumble above them. There had been a few moments of sheer terror, when they realised they likely wouldn’t be able to get out in time. So Rafael had done the only thing he could do. He’d taken the person into his arms and started running, before using the last piece of energy he had to push them forwards, just far enough for his fellow first responders to pull the civilian up- but leaving Rafael to take the full brunt of the latest collapse of rubble. Everything beyond that had been a blur, punctured by bouts of pain and dazed vision...until it all went dark. A darkness that seemed to stretch on for an eternity, leaving Rafael, towards the end of it, beginning to wonder if this was how he’d be going out. Until finally, he found his eyes sliding open- head turning at the sound of someone gently snoring. Jasper. Judging by the dark circles under her eyes, and the sun starting to filter through the window blinds, she’d done her best to stay up all night. 

Despite the fact he knew she’d been on a 16 hour shift before that, and had to have been running on fumes.

The sense of relief and awe that went through him, as he took in how she was awkwardly curled up on the armchair by his bed, was secondary to what he felt when he discovered that she’d been the one to assist Harper with his surgery. Due to the sudden influx of patients, the hospital had been overwhelmed, and had Jasper not done what she did, he likely would have had to wait for his surgery. Because even someone as experienced as Dr Harper would never attempt to do such a complicated operation alone. And that delay could very well have cost him his life. But it didn’t. Thanks to Dr Harper, of course, but also to his friend. Despite having no surgical training, she’d been there when he needed her the most. Rafael wasn’t sure if he’d ever be able to thank her enough for that. For that help, and the fact she’d remained at his bedside, so a friendly face would be the first thing he saw when he woke up, instead of a cold, empty hospital room. 

And even when he was fully awake, and talking to Jasper, she didn’t leave. Sat right in what looked like an extremely uncomfortable armchair, for hours, only leaving so she could go and get him some food. Although he could only eat a small amount, not having to deal with questionable hospital fare was yet another thing he’d thanked her endlessly for. Jasper even went to the trouble of dealing with his frantic and terrified grandmother, when he had no energy left to do anything other than lay where he was, rushing to the hospital entrance when his Vovo’s cab had pulled up outside- so she wouldn’t be left to wander the building’s labyrinthine halls alone and confused.

_ Yes, Jasper truly was the best friend he’d ever had the honour of making. _

Which made hearing her choke and gasp for breath all the more heart-wrenching.

Especially when she’d shown such strength only minutes ago, in putting herself between Travis and the rest of them, tackling him with an anger fuelled force that he’d never quite seen in her. An action that went against her very oath as a Doctor- to do no harm. Something she had done without a moment’s hesitation. And that was without mentioning her expression- Rafael couldn’t remember ever seeing her so furious before. Not even when Declan had taunted her at the hearing for Mrs Martinez’s death, relishing in her pain. It had warped her face almost beyond recognition, making him ashamedly happy that he wasn’t on the receiving end of her fury- an expression he hoped he’d never have to see again. Because it wasn’t right, seeing such anger on a normally gentle face.

_ Just as it wasn’t right how she was coughing through her own bile at the same time he was near lost in his thoughts, alone, so close to her...and yet so agonisingly far at the same time.  _

**_Just how it wasn’t right that the coward of a Senator had yet to lift a finger to help, or do so much as move from his corner._ **

Sure, Rafael’s arms were  **definitely** burning with the effort of holding up the fan towards Danny, but they were just static pin pricks under his skin in comparison with the pain of his closest friend so audibly suffering. It was taking everything he had not to fall apart in front of Danny. He knew he would definitely hold on as long as he possibly could, but the second Danny had help, and his arms were free, Rafael would be rushing to Jasper’s side. Ignoring whatever sorry state Travis had fallen into, even though that went against his own oath as a (albeit, former) paramedic. He would be holding her hair out of the way, firm hands on her shoulders, like she had when he had a bad night during his surgery recovery- speaking soothing words to ground her through the panic he knew from experience that she’d be getting overwhelmed by. 

But all that was looking to be several more minutes away, if Dr Ramsey’s frantic expressions and phone calls were anything to go by. 

Which left Rafael where he had been stuck for the past few minutes, tiredly sat up against the hospital bed, longing to rush to Jasper’s side- focusing his stress-muffled hearing on every noise she made. No matter how nauseating, or heartbreaking they were. She’d listened to him enough times, and he could only do the same for her now. Even though he wished he could do more, despite the fact that the unfolding situation was ultimately out of his control. So there he remained for what seemed like an eternity, sat in front of one friend who’d almost died, with another vomiting their guts up a few feet away. The latter, thankfully, seemed to stop after several terrifying moments- leaving an eerie silence in its wake. A silence that stretched on long enough for Rafael to crane his neck to catch even a glimpse of Jasper through the open bathroom door, hearing now fully focused on every miniscule, barely audible sound that filtered through the room. A silence that, thankfully, didn’t last as long as it felt.  _ Not that what broke the quiet was exactly preferable to the tense atmosphere before it _ . 

Because Jasper stumbled out of that bathroom with even less coordination than she’d entered with, door handle creaking ominously as what seemed like half her body weight seemed to cling to it for dear life. 

And before either he or Dr Ramsey could speak up, Rafael found a chill running down his spine as a sickening crack reverberated through the room. It wasn’t the sound of something breaking, accidentally swept aside as Jasper stumbled, but the sound of some _ one  _ breaking. He’d heard bones fracture and break more times than he currently cared to count. And that realisation hit him like a tonne of bricks, causing him to crane his neck as far as he possibly could- desperate to catch a glimpse of his friend. But even through that, he couldn’t see much more than the top of the hospital bed, and the slightest hint of familiar red hair. So he was forced to turn back around, quickly focusing on Dr Ramsey. He could definitely see more than Rafael could, if the fear in his eyes and the snowy pallor of his skin was anything to go by. 

Eyes fully centered on the man’s reactions, desperate for the slightest bit of information he could glean from them, he also managed to focus his hearing. Fighting through the terror-induced white noise that had started buzzing in his ears, he was soon met with alarmingly silent clarity. Another bout of quiet that, thankfully, didn’t last as long as the previous ones which had gripped the room in fear. 

“Jasper!” Dr Ramsey’s voice broke the silence. “Damn it- let me in!”

That startled Rafael more than the eerie silence itself. He’d been at Edenbrook long enough to have crossed paths with Dr Ramsey numerous times, and his reputation had preceded him, filling in the rest of the blanks. Every time he’d seen the man, whether it was in an impossibly stressful situation or otherwise, he’d been perfectly composed. His expression had never wavered from one of stoic vagueness, and he moved about the hospital with the kind of confidence someone with his experience and reputation should have. Movements were precise and practiced, hands never once showing the slightest indication of trembling. Sure, he’d heard the guy raise his voice on multiple occasions, but even that anger was reigned in and controlled. Which was  _ why  _ Rafael was so startled. Dr Ramsey’s expression was a mixture of sheer terror, and a pain he had only ever seen in a wife or husband staring down at their spouse on a bloodied gurney. 

The only word that could properly describe what Rafael was seeing...was that the man looked  _ distraught _ . 

It **definitely** wasn’t the kind of look a boss would give to a charge or colleague. 

“You know we can’t let you do that, sir.” an unfamiliar voice responded to the Doctor, startling Rafael out of his thoughts.

At the interruption, he finally focused on everything around Dr Ramsey. Other than the reassuring sight of a group of people in full hazmat suits, there were several people whose faces were obscured by tactical helmets and goggles- eerily clothed in sheer black gear. Men almost like soldiers, that were attempting to reach out to the Doctor. People wielding some kind of automatic  _ rifle,  _ Rafael soon realised. That sent the fear going through his mind into overdrive. He’d only ever seen guns like that in TV and movies- they almost didn’t look real. But the visible weight in the arms of each man carrying the weapon served to prove them real enough. The idea of so many guns so close by took Rafael’s fear closer to terror than he would ever be able to admit- leaving him in muddled silence before he was able to start drawing his focus back to Dr Ramsey. 

Who, despite the fact that there were multiple rifles being wielded less than a foot away from him, had yet to move, standing with body language that conveyed he would not be taken from where he stood. 

Not even by the mysterious, soldier-like group that had entered his space. Something that served to deepen Rafael’s respect for the man. 

No matter the true nature of whatever relationship he had with Jasper, it was clear he cared deeply. 

And that the unspoken feelings in his familiar expression were undoubtedly real- something Rafael wondered if Jasper would get the chance to tell him about.

“Ethan.” Jasper croaked out, hand audibly slipping from the door handle, taking him from the terror of the moment...and into a new one. “I’ll be-”

She never got the chance to finish her sentence- Jasper’s words tailed off as a strangled gasp escaped her throat, masking the word Rafael knew would have been a lie anyway- that she was  _ fine.  _ When she was anything  _ but  _ fine, if the newfound agony on Dr Ramsey’s face was anything to go by. The man’s eyes even seemed to be shining with barely withheld tears, a shock that was only eclipsed by the fact that someone with all the knowledge and experience the Doctor had- who would know they couldn’t open the door under any circumstances until quarantine was established- was reaching for the handle. It went against everything Rafael knew they would both be aware of, but it seemed the man was increasingly less able to think through his actions. Reason almost appeared to be beyond him, and the sight of someone normally so stoic and composed reacting in such a way was almost as terrifying as the multiple rifles that swung Dr Ramsey’s way.

That was  _ nowhere near  _ as  _ petrifying  _ as it was when another crack resolutely ended any and all conversation, stunning even the soldiers- albeit for a moment. It was another noise that Rafael had heard too many times...and if Jasper’s knees had already likely shattered upon their harsh contact with the ground, then the sound was coming from her  _ head  _ hitting the floor. Which meant only one nauseating possibility- that the friend Rafael had come to treasure so deeply, had finally succumbed to the chemical that would be storming through her system, and collapsed. 

That possibility was confirmed when he saw the soldiers having to physically grab Dr Ramsey by the arms to  _ pull him  _ away from the door, ignoring the impressive and surprising stream of anger-laced expletives that were almost shouted their way as a result.

Daring to shuffle ever so slightly, eyes momentarily darting back to a barely conscious Danny and cowering Senator, Rafael craned his neck once more. It made him have to twist his body into an awkward position, causing even more pain than the pins and needles rushing through his exhausted arms, but he forced himself to bear with it. The aches he was feeling would be absolutely nothing compared to the pain Jasper would be in, and that gave him the final push he needed. Leaning as far away from Danny as he could, without compromising the unwieldy breathing assistance, Rafael finally laid eyes on his friend. 

Focusing through the complex of bars and wheels beneath the hospital bed, he could see those familiar locks of flaming red hair. 

_ But the sight of those didn’t give him the relief he hoped.  _

Because, instead of being awake and staring dazedly at him, Jasper’s eyes were firmly shut. 

Because her skin was even paler than it had been only a few minutes before, looking downright sickly beneath the chemical’s oily sheen clinging to her body. 

_ Because she.wasn’t.moving. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we have it! Rafael's view of events! He misses some of Ethan's dialogue because he kind of gets lost in his own thoughts- stress and a harmful chemical will do that to anyone, I'd wager.
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it, and please let me know how I did in terms of characterization.

**Author's Note:**

> So, that’s the first chapter. I felt like splitting it up would make it easier for you all to read. The next chapters will be up soon- but I won’t rush them as I like to spend a great deal of time making sure my writing is of high quality.
> 
> This also allows me to gauge interest and get feedback. Speaking of, whether you enjoyed it and/or have something to say, hit me up with a comment.


End file.
